The Old, Two-Headed, Pale Elephant in the Room

So, let’s talk about the old, two-headed, pale elephant in the room.

The push for voting for the incumbent over the previous President is underway. And the “pick the incumbent because he’s not the worst pick” crowd is deafening. Equally loud is the “they both are equally horrible” crowd. The vote-shaming is likely right around the corner. So, let’s talk about it.

Real talk? They’re not similarly horrible choices, but neither one offers a choice that brings me joy.

And frankly? I’m tired of choosing between a sh— sandwich and a sh— and arsenic sandwich.

The incumbent isn’t the safe bet, because he still supports genocide and has a plethora of non-murderous weaknesses that don’t necessarily support a lot of communities, but we’re all supposed to get OK with voting for him because the other guy is an aspiring dictator?

It sucks.

I’m exhausted by round two of this white toxic masculinity political nonsense, especially because people of pallor have overwhelmingly voted for the wannabe dictator the past two election cycles and will likely do so again. So, once again, it’ll be up to Black people, communities of color, and LGBTQIA+ communities to pick the lesser of two evils and “save” a democracy that doesn’t care if we survive or exist.

I’m begrudgingly voting for the incumbent but I’m tired and unhappy with all of it. My choice, our options, this country, all of it.

I know I’m not the only one.

And because I know I'm not the only one, I'm not going to tell anyone how they should vote or shame anyone for not voting. I implore the people of pallor out there not to vote for the aspiring dictator, but I know that's a waste of energy so my side-eye for y'all stays eternal. Either way, do what you believe you must and own your decision.

May the odds be forever in some of our favor.

And may the unserved and mistreated not have to save the world for the umpteenth time.

This Week's Opening Thought: February 12, 2024

This week's opening thought: It will always amuse me that every February, I get an influx of people of pallor sending me emails and DMs looking for free teaching moments. It doesn't surprise me. I get emails and DMs like this from people of pallor 365 days a year, seeking free emotional labor or seeking to use me like a search engine. But there's something about how people of pallor try to turn on the charm during Black History Month to get free labor from Black bodies that borders on comical while being reminiscent of everything their ancestors have done to Black bodies for centuries (and that many of them still perpetuate).

The compliments are more flowery.

The praise of my work sounds like they ran it through Grammarly for a tone check.

They almost always start their messages with a brief blurb, letting me know they've been following me for years and appreciate my work.

The things they ask me for oscillate between seeking justification for their actions, some form of forgiveness for what they've said or done to Black bodies, or information they could find themselves if they decided to shift even 50% of the energy they used to message me into doing something themselves.

And, of course, they never offer financial compensation of any kind.

But there's a bonus portion they tend to add to their messages in February: they acknowledge everything mentioned above.

People of pallor will send me messages every February admitting that they know they're asking me to do emotional support work, assuage their guilt for being white supremacists, or do all the research they should be doing to continue their learning for them, yet still ask me to do it and expect it all for free. Some even go so far as to acknowledge that they know they should pay me but hope I'm willing to share myself with them regardless.

Face? Meet palm.

I love the celebration that is Black History Month, but I can't wait until March 1st comes around so y'all can go back to your regularly scheduled white supremacy and anti-Blackness. I don't love any part of that sh-- either, but at least it's better than 28-29 days of faux niceties steeped in "plantation master" histrionics and pack mule load-bearing expectations.

On Toby, Death, Legacy, and Rewrites

TW: mentions of racism, homophobia, and xenophobia.

So, I posted about Toby Keith on one of my other social media platforms, and whew! Some folx (read: people of pallor) weren't too keen on it. One person (read: cishet man of pallor) went as far as posting, "Way to kick a man when he's down."

I get it. He died. He likely died a painful death. And that sucks. I'm sure his family is grieving. One part of my humanity feels for them (I'm not a heartless monster). Maybe talking about his "accomplishments" (read: being a hateful person with a public platform) when he's barely been gone a week is cold. Some might say that's ice cold. Frigid. Mortal Kombat Sub Zero-level frosty. But you know what?

There's a lot I will never be sure of in this life- life is fickle like that. But one thing I can be sure of is that when I die, there won't be a ticker-tape parade of happiness that I'm no longer here or a notion that the world will be a little safer without me in it.

Think about it: if your death is a cause for celebration for any marginalized, invisible, and unserved community targeted by hate, you're likely on the wrong side of, well, everything. History, decency, everything.

Collectively, we must quit looking at a person's life's work to cherry-pick the things that work for whatever narrative works with our worldviews - views often obscured through generations of hate and toxic norms. I know people of pallor and societal culture are usually keen on re-writing and re-crafting history and "looking at the positives." But when a person's life's work is aimed at harming others, and their work becomes anthems for hate, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia? Help me see how the positives outweigh the negatives enough to disregard harm.

No one is perfect. We all have flaws. But when the things people defend as your "flaws" are evidence that you're a deplorable human being who used their public platform to traffic in pain, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia, maybe the people you've targeted with said public platform ain't gonna feel so bad when your red Solo cup tips over and spills everywhere for the final time.

Just sayin'.

[Image description: An image of a gathering of Black men. Most are staring into the distance, witnessing something messed up. The Black man in the foreground is holding a Solo cup, looking toward the viewer with a "damn" expression on their face. The man walks away from the scene shaking his head and muttering, “Damn.”]

[Image description: An image of a gathering of Black men. Most are staring into the distance, witnessing something messed up. The Black man in the foreground is holding a Solo cup, looking toward the viewer with a "damn" expression on their face. The man walks away from the scene shaking his head and muttering, “Damn.”]

People of pallor virtue signaling and trying desperately to be viewed as “allies” during celebrations of non-white cultures and heritages like Black History Month:

[Image description: a concrete wall plastered with non-artistic graffiti. Sprayed on the wall in black letters is an attempt at writing “Be the change.” The wall is actually tagged with the words “Be the chage.”]

[Image description: a concrete wall plastered with non-artistic graffiti. Sprayed on the wall in black letters is an attempt at writing “Be the change.” The wall is actually tagged with the words “Be the chage.”]

A Black History Month Message

Image description: a picture of Laurence Fishburne in his role as Ike Turner from the Tina Turner biopic, "What's Love Got to Do With It." He is side-eyeing the viewer with a "try me" expression emblazoned across his face.

Hey, unmelanated people. This is Pharoah. You know, that guy whose social media posts you report all the time for “hate speech.” Yep - that guy. I'm glad I could jog your memory!

Anyhoo, as a living, breathing, Black person, I wanted to take a moment on this, the first day of Black History Month, during the shortest month of the year, to give y'all a little educational reminder that as people of pallor, your role this month is to listen, learn, unlearn, and implement that learning into every aspect of your life. It is not your job to virtue signal, appropriate "out of appreciation for Black culture," or post anything on any Black person's page trying to teach them something about Black history. It is not your responsibility to offer hot takes on Black folx's business. I don't want to hear about your "transcendent" experience seeing Beyonce on tour. I don't want to hear about the segregation documentary you watched on Netflix. Not one Black person wants to hear or see any of this from you for the next 29 days.

Your role for the next 29 days is, to paraphrase The Rock, know your role, and shut your mouth.

Period.

No debate.

No sidebars or questions.

Try Jesus. Don't try me. I will make sure everyone sees you as an example of how to avoid conducting yourself during the month of February.

Keep your mouth shut and your mind open to learning and unlearning all the nonsense, stereotypes, and vitriol you've been fed about Black people.

Go ahead. Give it a try. I guarantee it'll change your life. Or at least create one less anti-Black moment for your Black colleagues, "friends," and neighbors to endure.

You should be practicing this every damn day anyway, but I see y'all constantly doing the opposite, so...yeah.

And I betta not see nan one of y'all tryin' to sing "Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing."

Probably gonna be soundin' like Taylor Swift singin' Earth, Wind, and Fire.

[Image description: a picture of Laurence Fishburne in his role as Ike Turner from the Tina Turner biopic, "What's Love Got to Do With It." He is side-eyeing the viewer with a "try me" expression emblazoned across his face.]