Some Thoughts on Transgender Day of Visibility

Today is Trans Day of Visibility, and I want to be very clear where I stand on support for trans communities. To my trans friends and colleagues, I see you. You matter. Your lives matter. Your bravery in being openly who you are in a world that poses so many dangers to you is resonant. I wish y’all didn’t have to fight so hard to live and love and be seen as human beings who shouldn’t have to constantly prove they deserve rights and safety but I will never stop standing with y’all and fighting for you.

I stand with trans folx not just on Trans Day of Visibility but the other 364 days of the year. And I stand on business, because I know how integral trans folx, and how important Black and Brown trans folx, are and have been to civil and human rights progress for countless decades. No one has rights if any community has to constantly fight for them, and I know y’all have firsthand knowledge of this struggle. Y’all didn’t abandon me and mine, even as some of my kinfolk are the arbiters of your trauma. I’ll never abandon you and your causes because your needs are valid and real.

To my trans friends and colleagues, I hope today is a day of being seen and cherished. I hope it’s a day of healing and love. And I hope this all spreads through every day of the rest of your year and lifetime.

Both And

Sometimes I have to remind myself that many of the people in the United States pushing for gun safety and banning Critical Race Theory while attacking trans and queer communities are people who have allowed their trauma and familial and community influences to hurt them on a deep level. And hurt people hurt people. I have to make sure I'm considering that hateful views and bigotry are ingrained and learned behaviors often fostered in people from a young age by their families and communities. I must be cognizant of the trauma we all carry and how that trauma manifests as malicious weapons, especially for those with power, privilege, and positionality. I must acknowledge how white supremacist ideologies and societal norms influence how people overtly and covertly wield hate.

But I never have to remind myself that none of the above are excuses or passes for people to be sh—-y, hateful, and harmful to others.

It's both and.

Yeah, hurt people tend to hurt others, especially when they have the power and opportunity to do so. But just because you're unwilling to confront and unpack your generational and societal trauma and familial influences doesn't mean you get to place the burden of your hurt on those your skewed beliefs deem appropriate to oppress.

I can hold out hope for your healing and still hold you accountable for the harm you cause. I can acknowledge your trauma and expect you to work on your sh— and improve.

I will simultaneously check you and ask somebody to pray for your soul.

It's both and.

Why?

Because even if you're a hate-filled human being, you're still human. You're still worthy of love and care, even if you think me and my people aren't. You're still worthy of healing and support, even if you think other communities aren't.

Even though you may hate my people and me, I don't hate you. Even though you hate people and communities who have done you no harm, I don’t hate you. Why? I'm practicing living in health and joy. Practicing hate to respond to the hatred of harmful people stuck in their trauma does nothing for anyone. No person who has lived in a cycle of trauma and hate has ever been joyful about life.

I ain’t got time for that. Life is short.

Real talk? I hope you get to that place at some point in your life where your hate and trauma aren't your driving forces for the sake of everyone your unresolved pain harms. I hope you get to the point where you can be accountable for your words and actions and acknowledge your pain and the pain you create.

In the meantime, I'mma ask one of my religious homies to pray for your soul while praying for me to have the serenity not to want to lay hands on you while you sport your MAGA hat and act like you’re disappointed in me because I checked yo’ ass and you thought I was "one of the good ones."

Hey, I’m human.

Both and.

On Mass Shootings and Trans Safety

TW: Gun violence, mass shooting, anti-trans violence.

It’s the 27th of March, and the United States has had 130 mass shootings. All those shootings barely stayed in the news cycle for 72 hours. All but today’s mass shooting in Nashville, Tennessee. Why?

Because for the only time in the history of the United States actively cataloging mass shooting numbers, the shooter was a member of a marginalized community facing a constant and persistent danger to their existence.

The shooter was trans.

The shooter was trans in a country deadset on harming trans communities, dehumanizing trans folx, and making a concerted effort to strip trans folx of human rights on every level conceivable.

The shooter was trans in a country looking for any opportunity to vilify trans folx to pursue an agenda of erasure through cisgender-driven transphobic hatred.

Because of this, you can guarantee that half of this country’s news cycle will be dedicated to that agenda.

Sadly, as is the custom in the United States, those who lost their lives in this tragedy will be an afterthought in the aftermath of their lives being taken by bullets from assault rifles. But their lives will be further diminished by a country full of hateful policymakers running with a new rung on the ladder of the narrative that trans folx are a danger to the populace and a threat to our children. These narratives will do nothing but increase the risk of harm or death to children, trans children, and trans adults at the hands of hateful sheep looking to justify their hate.

And all because, for one time in the history of the United States, a mass shooter wasn’t a cishet male.

Now trans communities will suffer, the families of those who lost their lives will suffer, and both parties will be pitted against one another in the news cycle with the intent of further endangering trans lives. And the United States will be no closer to addressing gun violence, protecting our children from real threats to their safety, or ensuring our country isn’t steeped in anti-trans hate.

And all of this enhanced trauma at the start of Trans Week of Visibility.

To those of you reading this who aren’t trans: get informed and involved. Visit the Trans Week of Visibility website to get informed and learn how to help. Find initiatives in your city, region, and state. Check the people in your life who are OK with the ongoing threats to trans folx. And do what you can to protect the trans people in your life.

To all my trans friends, family, and colleagues: I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this constant freight train of harm. You’re not alone. Please reach out to me if you need anything. We’ll figure out how to do our best to protect you and yours.

Sending you love and energy.