On Layoffs and Not Being OK

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I have spent the better part of the last four years working with folx who are being laid off or getting laid off myself.

I know how it feels to support someone who is distraught, confused, uncertain of what their future holds. I know what it feels like to talk to an entire team or division about their positions being cut because of government funding or bad business decisions. I know how deflating and infuriating it feels to work with and participate in meetings with the senior executives and directors making the layoff decisions as they discuss human beings who are going to lose their livelihoods or even communities who are going to lose vital services as dollars and decimals. I know how it feels to speak up in those meetings, to advocate for some semblance of humanity in these proceedings, and to know right then and there that you will now be a shoo-in for the next round of layoffs after they use your humanity and empathy to lay off others. I know how it feels for someone to give you barely any notice and have the audacity to give you two weeks of pay with an expression on their face that is more about their discomfort with being the messenger than it is about how this news impacts you on multiple levels. It's draining. It's frustrating.

And with the current state of the country, I don't see it getting even remotely better anytime soon.

Hundreds of thousands of people are being laid off every month. Job creation has trickled to numbers that are nowhere close to meeting demand. Heavy times are here, and they're likely going to keep getting heavier. And that means that people you know are struggling - mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially struggling - and likely feel conditioned to tell you they're OK.

They're not OK.

And it's OK for them not to be OK right now.

But it's NOT OK for you to be like, "Well, they said they're OK" and never check in again because you're uncomfortable with reality.

To expect anyone who is carrying the weight of everything on their shoulders right now plus seeking employment to "be OK" is to display a lack of connection with humanity, empathy, and reality.

I say all of this to implore you to please check in on your friends and family who have been laid off and workin' their asses off to find a job. Check in from a place of love and compassion, not with a list of questions for them or links to a bunch of positions you found on Indeed. Give them space. Hear them. See them. Feel with them. Let them know that it's OK for them to not be OK. Let them know you will help them any way you can but not hound them about it every time you connect with them. Tap into how you've felt during your roughest workplace moments, your job losses, job losses that impacted you in your family or friends circle, to be present with friends and family who have been impacted by layoffs but DO NOT make it about yourself.

Show up the right way.

The world is heavy enough without those we think care about us adding to it.

This Week's Opening Thought: November 13, 2023

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This week's opening thought: Some of y’all have genuinely shown how devoid you are of humanity, global compassion, and empathy over the past few years, haven't y'all? I mean, damn. A global pandemic, multiple boiling points coming to a head around centuries of racism, white supremacy, and hate in the United States, and countless lives lost to war, disease, hatred, and oppression, and some of y’all are still out here playin’ devil’s advocate or sharing toxic “hot takes” with no regard for who you harm or disregard as valid and human.

If, after enduring almost five years of collective and individual harm and trauma and watching as people in your communities, workplaces, and across the globe are enduring extreme trauma and strife, you can’t find an ounce of compassion for others and empathize with how hard things are for so many people without caveats or quips about how your “views” on local and global matters as a “good person” are more valid or how you don’t have privilege and your experiences mean more than those of others?

You’re proof positive that empathy, compassion, and decency are not inherent but learned.

And please believe that this is not a “white people thing.” Some of y’all are out here highly melanated and highly problematic.

It’s not that hard to care about the lives and trials of others, but some of y’all act like it’s akin to doing Calculus while dodging arrows on a tightrope.