Meanwhile

TW: Murder, racism, gun violence, white supremacy, anti-Blackness.

[Image description: a mugshot-like image of a middle-aged white woman. She is looking toward the viewer. The expression on her face is a mix of exasperation and frustration. She is wearing a black t-shirt with a black sweater over it. She has dark brown eyeglasses on.]

The white woman in this picture is Susan Lorincz. 4 days ago in Florida, Susan used a high-caliber firearm to murder Ajike Owens, a Black woman and mother of four. Why? Susan got into an argument with Owens' children over a tablet, which somehow escalated to Susan throwing a pair of skates at the children and hitting them. These actions were, of course, accompanied by a litany of racial slurs. One of Ajike's children went into the house and told their mother what happened. Ajike went to Susan's place and knocked on the door to confront her about the situation. How did Susan respond?

Susan shot Ajike through her front door, leaving her lying on the front lawn.

Ajike was pronounced dead at the hospital.

It took Florida's Marion County Sheriff's Department four days to book and charge Susan. You read that right. FOUR. DAYS. And let's be honest with one another: Susan was arrested because the Marion County Sheriff's Department couldn't ignore the public outrage from the Black community and their allies in Florida. But Susan isn't facing a trial for murder or a hate crime. Oh, no. Susan is being charged with manslaughter with a firearm, culpable negligence, battery, and two counts of assault. Yep. That’s it.

SIGH.

We're not going to play the "What if a Black person did what Susan did?" game because that game is tiring, and we all know what the answer would be. And we're not going to play the "What if a Black woman did what Susan did?" game because we all know how Black women are viewed by the toxic white supremacist patriarchal anti-Blackness that permeates the roots of the gnarled tree that is the United States of America. Why aren’t we playing those games, you ask? Well, for starters, it's a tasteless endeavor that diminishes the lives of those lost, making them examples for a lesson that most white people don't want to have taught them for various reasons. And let's be honest: unless you're a white person living under a quarry of rocks for the past century, you should know how this goes by now.

We all know that 58-year-old Susan will likely face little to no prison time for the murder of Ajike Owens. Susan's lawyers will probably get her a plea deal where she's on probation or something. Susan will then return to her home, close her newly-repaired front door, and continue looking at Black bodies in her neighborhood as threats to her whiteness because that's what white societal norms have conditioned her to believe. Susan will feel that justice has been served and offer some hollow apology peppered with a white woman's tears, hoping for sympathy. And some of Susan's fellow white people will give her that sympathy because they will have rationalized in their white supremacy-riddled minds that Susan did what she had to do. They'll justify Susan's anti-Blackness as an unfortunate tragedy, that Ajike's death was merely a disappointing side-note in a story they'll deem unremarkable. Susan will move on with her life. Susan will do what she can to believe she's forgiven herself, and her white family, friends, and neighbors will follow suit.

Meanwhile, Ajike's children will not grow up with their mother, who was only doing what any mother would do if their children came into the house from playing outside and informed you that the neighbor hit them with an object. Ajike's family will no longer have her presence; her flame unnecessarily snuffed out through a gunpowder-fueled haze of anti-Blackness and white violence. Ajike's children and family will grieve in perpetuity. They will feel like they should forgive Susan, but it will be so hard that they will grapple with the weight of it all in perpetuity.

Meanwhile, Ajike's 9-year-old son will continue to blame himself for his mother's murder because he was the one who went to tell his mother what happened. It's not his fault that his mother died, but he will possibly never forgive himself. He will grapple with this for the rest of his life.

Meanwhile, Ajike's 12-year-old son will continue to blame himself for not being able to save his mother's life after he tried to administer CPR. It's not his fault that his mother died, but he will possibly never forgive himself. He will grapple with this for the rest of his life.

Meanwhile, Black communities across the United States will add this latest doorway assault and murder of a Black person, a Black woman, to the ever-growing list. They will look at their white neighbors differently and teach their kids to act accordingly. It'll be done as an act of safety, but many Black families will grapple with the feeling they don't want themselves or their family to be taken from this world like Ajike was. They will struggle with forgiving themselves for needing a minute to sigh, grieve, and rest their bones while being glad it wasn't one of their friends or family lying on Susan's grass. And because of the weight of the constant barrage of exacerbated generational and situational trauma that Black folx in the United States are exposed to living in a white supremacist country with no breaks from continuous danger, they will feel horrible for sighing relief that they are still here. They will grapple with this for the rest of their lives.

Meanwhile, Susan will continue celebrating birthdays, holidays, and life in general while Ajike’s family recognizes the anniversary of her passing.

Meanwhile, white folx will have collectively forgotten about Ajike Owens' murder at the hands of Susan Lorincz by the middle of next week, as they do with every murder executed by fragile white people unable to mask their fear and hatred of the melanated body. Ajike's murder will fall out of the news cycle, soon replaced with the latest Black murder at the hands of white supremacy. Rinse and repeat in perpetuity. White people will inherently know this is the way of whiteness, but most will not grapple with this notion for the rest of their lives. Hell, most won't even grapple with it for the lifespan of a venti soy latte. They'll forgive themselves for not caring, citing overwhelm, indifference, or something like that while trying to convince themselves and others that they are good people. Whiteness will endure, working as designed.

Meanwhile.