On Seeking Forgiveness and Being Undeserving Of It

It's funny how people didn't care that their vote would increase the cost of or outright eliminate healthcare options, terrorize communities with masked bootleg police and the U.S. military, devastate the job market, increase the cost of living, and dismantle and eliminate food assistance programs and other social services for millions of people because they somehow thought that Black folx, Brown folx, Indigenous folx, trans folx, and immigrants would be the only people harmed...until they found themselves also being hurt because, you know, all of the things mentioned above impact everyone and not just a couple of communities voters felt were expendable and disposable.

It's also funny how these same voters begged and pleaded like Keith Sweat for their president to save them for months on end, only to realize late last month that they would not be saved because their president had essentially used them to increase his wealth and power.

Hilarious.

Now, suddenly, it's y'all begging forgiveness on TikTok and Instagram for "mistakenly" voting for y'all's president (some of y'all in the last three presidential elections) and putting us in this autocracy.

Now it’s, "I made a mistake" and "We have to stick together."

Y'all can miss me with all of that.

I can care about you as a person, even if you don't care about me and mine, because I don't want to see anyone hurting and struggling. I'm a humanist and an empathic being. Even if you hate me, I want you to be okay. But let's keep it 100: you did not make a mistake. You knew what you were doing. All of you did. So nah, we are not "sticking together." I do not forgive, and I definitely will not forget.

Y'all need to learn that empathy only goes so far.

I do not have it in me to forgive you for willingly hoping others would suffer so you could thrive under a hateful regime. And I know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Y'all expect people you harm to forgive you because you live in a country where white supremacy has trained y'all to abuse others and expect forgiveness. It ain't happenin' this time, and a bunch of y'all are starting to see this, and you're unraveling. A part of me feels sorry for you, for your despair. But it's a small part, because y'all have made it very clear that this was supposed to be your "survival of the fittest" moment and you're realizing that a whole bunch of y'all ain't the fittest. And knowing that probably sucks. But...well...

I hope that you survive what you've inflicted on all of us, because that's what I want for everyone. And most of y'all will survive because of the work and community programs created and led by the people you were hoping would be harmed by all of this. But that's all that you'll get from me, and all you should get from them. That's more than enough. And if you have a problem with hearing that?

Better go and embrace some of that greatness you voted for to keep you fed and wealthy while "liberals" decide whether to help y'all at all.

On "No Kings" and Actually Doing Something

So there was a big ol' national "No Kings" rally this past weekend. And you know what? Some respect for people who showed up, marched, made signs, and wanted to be in solidarity with like-minded people who aren't ok with *gestures wildly* EVERYTHING happening in the United States right now. You wanted to stand up and be counted among those who are against authoritarianism, hate, and oppression. Cool. But real talk? I always find myself asking people who attend these mass protests the same questions.

What organizations had a hand in organizing your local protest? Did you get information from those orgs for how you can volunteer time, money, supplies, or other resources to their causes?

How many resource guides and informational pamphlets, booklets, or flyers did you get at the rally? Have you scanned those documents in and shared them with others?

Did you leave the "No Kings" rally with some idea of how you'd like to focus your time and energy for the next few months or year? Did you leave with a clear idea of something you can dive into right now, something tangible, that you can take action with today?

Now, when I ask questions like this, of course certain people *cough* people of pallor *cough* get agitated. Evidently, I'm a hater or "not down for the cause" when I ask people what their plans are post-flashy social media-worthy rally experience. But guess what? That's the actual purpose of a protest rally, dude.

Seriously.

The purpose of a protest rally is to gather in solidarity while learning about tangible ways you can actively engage in social activism and do your part in addressing human rights issues in your community.

You know, volunteering your time and energy and putting your skills to use on particular issues in your community.

You know, ACTUAL community organizing and engagement.

You know, not just spending 10 hours on a sign that'll sit in your closet gathering dust until the next "No Kings" rally where you'll rinse and repeat with no tangible actions taken on your part to be actively engaged in pursuing change.

But OK, I guess I'm a hater for expecting substance over style.

C'est la vie.

On The Benefits of Working Remote vs. Onsite While Black

Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”

One of the most significant benefits I’ve received from transitioning to remote roles is not having to spend my time in an office where people of pallor can force their way into my personal office space any time they see fit and initiate nonconsensual conversations around how racist, oppressive, and harmful they are.

I have had countless unwanted conversations with “well-meaning” people of pallor in workplaces over the years, around how racist and messed up they are. Every in-person job I’ve had for over a decade has had people of pallor forcing me to be their constant sounding board and “teacher.” It’s draining. It’s oppression and abuse masquerading as curiosity and a willingness to learn when all they want is validation for their actions.

Now, some of y’all are probably like, “Why didn’t you have boundaries?”, which is a question that shows how privileged your life has been not to have
to worry about how having boundaries in the workplace unlocks a whole closet of stereotypes and white supremacist workplace-isms that ultimately threaten your ongoing employment prospects.

Boundaries? Oh, you silly lil’ privileged beavers. Of course, I had boundaries in those workplaces.

The thing is, the clearer I was with my boundaries - signage on my office door that made it clear that I was busy, being available by appointment only, asking people to leave and re-enter my office, stating that I was not willing to consent to a racism “chat”, and even making it clear that people had to knock and be invited in before entering - the more “well-meaning” people of pallor would report me to my supervisor. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to chat with leadership about how I’m not being a “team player,” that my boundaries were somehow in conflict with my job duties (they never were), or that I was the one being harmful to others because I didn’t want to be a racism and bigotry sounding board.

It has always been clear to me that working while Black comes with white supremacy, expecting you to shrink yourself and be used and mistreated as some form of servitude and gratitude to maintain a paycheck. And because I know this? I don’t think I can work in a physical office doing full-time work and feel healthy doing it ever again.

Working remotely has been a blessing for my mental and emotional health, and I don’t believe in letting blessings pass me by.

It’s also saved me from catchin’ a case, so win-win.

[Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”]

On Conversations with the Brainwashed Bigoted Masses

So...y'all's president has unveiled the next stage of the plan to make the United States a Christian, racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, ableist, autocratic hellscape that criminalizes poverty while increasing said poverty tenfold and making homelessness illegal by declaring a state of emergency in the nation's capital and unleashing the National Guard on a citizenry and city that has seen a dramatic decrease in violent crime and crime in general. And he's doing this with no evidence of any kind of crime escalation that would deem this move necessary, because the United States Supreme Court has ensured that being President has no checks and balances, allowing y'all's president to do what he wants to all of us with no repercussions.

Yet some of y'all are still supporting this man and these decisions because, for some reason, you think he's not launching a pilot program for a nationwide police state where everyone faces a state of constant danger for just existing. Hell, some of y'all have already been increasingly harmed by the decisions y'all's president has made and the impacts they have had on entire communities across the country, including rural communities. Some of y'all have lost jobs, businesses, farms, family members, healthcare options, and basic human rights in the past seven months due to the kazillion hateful executive orders and bills passed by y'all's president and his cronies. Yet some of y'all are still supporting this man and his decisions. Some of y'all have gone as far as to say things like, "I know he didn't mean to hurt me. I know he'll make things better" while he continues making things worse for you. And some of y'all are still out here talkin' about we need to keep the lines of communication open with folx and take care of folx who voted for and support this ongoing harm while being harmed themselves and believing they aren't intentionally being harmed.

With all of this in mind, my question is simple: what conversation is there left for us to have?

I refuse to continue putting energy into fruitless conversations with people brainwashed by their own hatred and bigotry.

I refuse to consort with FAFO people who force us all to find out, even those of us who weren't effin' around and knew what effin' around would do to all of us.

I'm done trying to help people "see the light" when they'd prefer to look directly into the sun and act like their corneas aren't being fried.

It's not worth it, y'all. There's no benefit to continuing a directionless discourse with the folx who are embracing their dictator because they're never going to hear you or believe the facts you present that show them how in danger they truly are.

Reserve your energy for fighting for those who need your help. It's clear who and what we need to fight for - and it ain't a fanbase for a wannabe dictator who are cool with a dictator oppressing us all while believing they'll eventually be deemed special and spared of his wrath.

On Medicaid, Migrant Workers, and "They Took Our Jobs"

Today, y'all's president's Secretary of Agriculture, a woman of pallor named Brooke Rollins, said millions of adult Medicaid participants who will now face stricter work requirements under y'all's president's "big beautiful bill" should replace migrant farm workers deported under y'all's president's police state-level ICE-led immigration policies.

So the "solution" to addressing any issues with immigration in the United States and the damn-near slave labor work options that many migrants have when they come to the United States is to spend taxpayer dollars to continue mass terrorism deportations of the folx who work hard to ensure most of us have food in our supermarkets and replace those folx with people on Medicaid, forcing what they perceive and verbalize as "able bodied" Medicaid recipients to work for their medical benefits coverage (coverage that will already be ravaged by y'all's president's "big beautiful bill," mind you) or die.

This is what some of y'all wanted, right? Migrants and immigrants "took your jobs," right? Now is your time to shine!

Y'all ready to get to work like your life depended on it?

Because for many of y'all, it does.

MAGA, amirite?

#eternalsideeye

Image description: A picture of Brooke Rollins, the current United States Secretary of Agriculture, side-eyeing another woman of pallor. Rollins looks like she is trying to figure out how she can use her Karen powers to harm another Karen in real time.

[Image description: A picture of Brooke Rollins, the current United States Secretary of Agriculture, side-eyeing another woman of pallor. Rollins looks like she is trying to figure out how she can use her Karen powers to harm another Karen in real time.]