On Schadenfreude, Bigotry, and Job Interviews

Image description: A male of pallor is shown in a workplace meeting, making their melanated colleagues highly uncomfortable.

One of my favorite things in the world is watching bigots being outed by the public, losing their jobs. I have no issue with hateful Karens and Chets losing their jobs after their beliefs are shared with their employers by people in the community. But while I love allowing the schadenfreude to wash over me like a gentle autumn rain, I can’t help but think about the one party in these matters that is never held accountable: the companies that hire these people.

I’ve been recruiting and interviewing people for over 20 years. I’ve conducted hundreds of interviews and led dozens of recruitments. Please believe that Karens and Chets don’t suddenly wake up one morning and decide they want to be hateful people. They are and have always been hateful people, and it comes out in their job interviews. The way they answer questions, the way they show up in spaces. The red flags are always there.

And companies hire these people anyway.

I can count on my fingers and toes multiple times how often hiring managers and department heads have willingly ignored red flags around hate and bigotry and pushed someone through a recruitment process because they “really like them,” are “a person I’d grab a beer with,” or they “remind me of myself at that age.” Why?

Because it’s easier to ride with the comforts and familiarity of white supremacy than it is to take a stance and not bring people into your organization that pose a risk to your employees and the people you serve.

It has been proven that people hire people with whom they feel comfortable. Bigots, or people who are comfortable with bigotry happening in front of them and not calling it out, hire bigots. Chets and Karens hire other Chets and Karens. It’s white supremacist workplace culture 101. And it’s never a workplace issue until that bigotry gets attached to the company name in a public way.

Chet and Karen have been doing and saying horrible things at work for years. They’ve been reported to HR and their supervisors for their harmful words and actions for years. But as soon as their hateful nonsense spills out into the public in a way that gets them screenshotted and recorded? Then it’s an immediate dismissal and a well-written PR statement touting how the company doesn’t support these views and cares about equity and inclusion. Meanwhile, everyone who has had to work with and be harmed by Karen and Chet every damn day for years has to sit with the learned understanding that their company has never really cared about equity and inclusion and has no issue with gaslighting their employees around supporting these views.

Be mad at Chet and Karen. Be glad that they’re getting their comeuppance. But save some of those side-eyes for the jerks that employed them in the first place, who now want to absolve themselves of their responsibility in giving these people a paycheck.

[Image description: A male of pallor is shown in a workplace meeting, making their melanated colleagues highly uncomfortable.]

On "Breaking the Ice", Stereotypes, and Montell Jordan

Hey, people of pallor! Happy Tuesday! Just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you can find commonality with Black, Brown, Indigenous, Global Majority, and non-white folx without having to resort to stereotypes and things you think are our identities. Just because you can't fathom the notion that melanated folx are more than the elements you'd need to pick up at your local Spirit Halloween store to build a racist Halloween costume doesn't mean we have to want to engage with yo' ass around this kind of "icebreaker" nonsense.

Just because you figure out that I like R & B doesn't mean I want to talk with you about how Montell Jordan's "This is How We Do It" changed your life.

Just because I'm a Black person who cooks doesn't mean I want to "bond" with you over your "recently discovered love" for collard greens (which, might I add, most of y'all be saying as "collared greens", a pronunciation that makes me choke on my LaCroix every time I hear it) and black eyed peas.

Like, read the room and check yourself. Geez.

I'll be in a Batman shirt and y'all will look at me and be like, "I just watched this riveting documentary about apartheid!" WHAT?! How in the Hell are we not having a comic book conversation?! That's an instant “in” for a chat!

UGH. Do better.

On Hate, Bigotry, The Hold They Have on People, and Not Having Hobbies or Interests

I often think about the amount of energy that goes into being an absolutely hateful person. Like, think about how much time hateful people spend ruminating about communities and groups they hate. To hate someone based on their skin color, non-Christian religious beliefs, gender identity, gender expression, ethnocultural heritage...and to devote copious amounts of time - to devote chunks of your lifetime - to harassing and attacking said communities and groups in every space you can find...

You ain't got NOTHING else to do?

No interests, hobbies, or passions outside of your hatred for others?

Like, there are folx out there right now literally spending thousands of hours targeting folx who are minding their business, living their lives, doing nothing to them and for what? What do they have to show for it, outside of successfully fomenting their unwarranted phobias and isms? It's not like they're getting any joy out of it. It's not filling a void in their lives, or giving them a leg up on anyone, or making their lives better. Studies have shown that it's not even providing a momentary satisfaction for them when they do it.

What's the point, other than to live your life as an antagonist that thinks you're better than others?

They don't even realize that their insecurities are on display every time they do what they do, and that we all have to live with the fallout of their unwillingness to unpack their sh-- with a therapist.

Think about how preposterous and useless it is to dedicate so much of your time and energy to attacking trans folx, Black and Brown folx, communities of color, queer communities, non-Christian folx, who ain't even thinkin' about you.

You could be building boats in bottles or doin' needle point but instead you out here trolling people for hours on social media or going out of your way to be in a space with people you claim to not want to be around.

What a waste of time and life.