On "Fit," Belonging, Copping a Squat, and Sitting a Spell

For those who have never felt how it feels to understand that there isn't a workplace where you "fit" or belong because of your identities and that your only recourse is to do what you must to survive, count yourselves lucky.

But while you're counting your lucky stars, sit a spell and unpack how privileged you are to feel like you belong everywhere with no feelings of discomfort or attacks on your personhood.

Or cop a squat and mull over how unwilling you might be to acknowledge that you've accepted assimilation and suppression of who you are in some fashion as a form of survival.

Acknowledging these things isn't intended to make you feel guilty.

Acknowledging these things is intended to help you tap into your humanity.

Workplaces aren't one size fits all.

Identities, safety, and belonging aren't either.

On Nat, Magical Girls, and the Intersection of Justice

Sometimes, my energy is magical girl energy.

Sometimes, my energy is Nat Turner energy.

Either way, understand that justice is always at the center of who I am.

Also understand that you do not wanna come around me with hate and bigotry and catch me on a day where the Nat Turner in me pulls out his Sailor Scout wand to dispatch you and your ugliness.

Believe that.

On Wolves, White Violence, and "Changing the World" After Reading One Anti-Racism Book

One of the ongoing conversations I have with white people is around them feeling like they've taken a couple of trainings, read a few books, and now understand 400+ years of racism and white supremacy to the point where they're ready to "change the world" and "be an ally."

Y’all don’t realize how dangerous y’all are.

I would rather you didn’t open up the door to learning if you weren’t going to come in, take a seat, and make it your forever home.

All y’all are doing is adding more weapons to your anti-Black, racist, white supremacy-upholding arsenal. You’re more dangerous to communities of color, Black, Brown, and Indigenous communities, when you know a little because y’all conflate it as if you know a lot and wield your good/bad binary like a Morningstar.

I have yet to see a white person who has attended a couple of trainings at work and read a few basic books do anything but harm melanated folx while thinking they’re helping us with their new “education.” And I have yet to see an “educated” white person respond to being called in or out about harming others demonstrate that they have the emotional maturity and ongoing understanding of white supremacy enough to take in the feedback, atone, and do better.

Wolves in ill-fitting sheep’s clothing.

If you’re going to open the door, come in, stay awhile, and decide if you’re gonna love it or list it.

For all our sakes.

[Image Description: An image of two wolves staring at each other under a big moon. Above them are the words, “White people: inside you there are two wolves.” Below them are the words, “They’re both racist. One of them just hides it better than the other.”]

Image Description: An image of two wolves staring at each other under a big moon. Above them are the words, “White people: inside you there are two wolves.” Below them are the words, “They’re both racist. One of them just hides it better than the other.”

A Mid-Week Leadership Tip

Hey, leader folx! Happy Wednesday! Here's a leadership tip (that you should not need someone to give you because it should be a given) to guide the rest of your week: Show gratitude to your team members every day.

Yes. Seriously. Show gratitude to your team members. Every. Day.

They are bustin' their asses for you and your organization, putting in work that makes you and your organization look good in every arena. They give your team and organization their energy, insights, and skills daily. A chunk of their life is spent in your workplace, and this is time they will never get back to spend with their friends, families, and communities or even dedicate to their passions and healing. Please show them some respect every damn day. Thank them for all the work they do for you and everything they contribute to your organization, even the "basic" things that most of us easily take for granted. Let it be known to every other senior leader you work with that your success is team success, and your team should be thanked for their work. And if you're going to say thank you?

Mean it.

Don't be out here going through the motions and acting like someone is twisting your arm. Don't say thank you because "that's what you're supposed to do." You're not an automaton. You're a human being with a heart and soul. You have feelings. You know what it feels like not to be given respect or gratitude for the things you've done that you don't expect respect and appreciation for. You know what it feels like to bust your ass and have a leader not show you gratitude and take credit for your energy and effort. Take those feelings, handle them with humility and empathy, and don't pass them on to those you lead.

If you think you're leading with humanity, gratitude should be easy, like Sunday morning. And if it's difficult, like dodging a truck while wearing ankle weights?

It would be best if you got your weight up.

On Clothes, Comfort, Identity, White Supremacist Workplace Culture, and "Professional" Attire

It's wild to me that people who consider themselves "high-level professionals" still throw out "advice" around "professional" attire. Y'all ain't got nothin' better to do with your time? Don't you have a meaningless seminar to conduct somewhere for a bunch of "professionals" who don't want to be challenged but want to act as they have been for clout?

At the beginning of my career in Human Resources, I used to "dress the part": business casual from head to toe: polo shirts, khakis, dress shoes, short haircuts, no facial hair. I did it because I was keen on being taken seriously.

I hated that sh--.

Every morning I looked in the mirror, I could see it eating away at my soul. It made me feel inauthentic, like a caricature of myself. And I still wasn't being taken seriously. If anything, I was being treated like a token, which made me constantly sad and angry. I don't know what my breaking point was, but I got up one morning, and instead of grabbing a striped polo shirt, I grabbed a Batman t-shirt.

And I've never looked back.

The moment I stopped dressing like a corporate HR goon was when my career changed, for better and worse. But I would've never been able to embrace the better if I stayed in the space of conformity. I've lost opportunities, left money on the table, and endured trauma and harm because I don't fit the "professional" image that white supremacist workplace culture almost demands from melanated folx. But I'd rather have a few fewer dollars in my pocket than cosplay as a" professional" daily. And real talk?

Who cares about this clothing thing at this point?

Why is this nonsense still important to people?

For the past few years, we all have lived through a collective trauma event, and we're still coming out of the worst of it and trying to take care of ourselves, earn a living, and maintain a job or career. Why does anyone care if someone's wearing a Care Bears shirt and some pajama pants while doing their job? Did the work get done? If it did, what's the problem? Regardless of your positionality in a workplace, if you're spending time and energy judging somebody wearing flip-flops and board shorts, you need to see that this is a "you" problem. It sounds like you need to sit and unpack your ingrained white supremacist patriarchal need to police others and maybe look into why you want homogeneity and conformity in the workplace.

And don't pull out that "you represent [insert company here] and you should dress as such" defense. That's weak and archaic. Most companies don't have a dress code or enforce the ones they have. Most weren't verbalizing this "concern" until a damn pandemic found many of us at home sitting in our comfy clothing, realizing we don't need to be in business clothes and uniformity all the damn time to be considered good at what we do.

Sheesh. Let it go, y'all. It is not the key to success some of y’all act like it is.

One of these “business gurus” recently posted, "Dress not as who you are but who you want to be." The first thing that popped into my head was, "Well, I wanna be a happy, healthy, comfortable, joyful, thicc Black man who wears t-shirts that display my voice and interests."

I'd say I'm nailing it.

Let's make the space for others to nail it too.