On Workplaces, Impending Doom, and Wearing a Smile

Workplaces are really expecting us to show up right now every day with a smile on our face and not a care in the world other than a project deadline or deliverable.

I guess we're supposed to just act like nothing's happening?

I guess we're supposed to leave all of this descent into autocracy and dictatorship and the absolute dread, anxiety, and fear it's creating for so many of us in the car or at home?

That's what white supremacist workplace culture wants, so if we want to maintain employment we better put on our smiley face masks.

Geezus.

Acting like something isn't happening and expecting us all to cater to that doesn't stop it from happening and permeating every aspect of our lives, including work.

Expecting Brown folx, Black folx, Black women, femmes, trans folx, and folx with disabilities to show up and "be OK" while the world around us gets increasingly more heavy is a clear marker that these workplaces do not care about us.

But y'all already knew that.

Y'all just like us better when we smile more and preserve the feelings of those who want to exist outside of reality.

On The Benefits of Working Remote vs. Onsite While Black

Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”

One of the most significant benefits I’ve received from transitioning to remote roles is not having to spend my time in an office where people of pallor can force their way into my personal office space any time they see fit and initiate nonconsensual conversations around how racist, oppressive, and harmful they are.

I have had countless unwanted conversations with “well-meaning” people of pallor in workplaces over the years, around how racist and messed up they are. Every in-person job I’ve had for over a decade has had people of pallor forcing me to be their constant sounding board and “teacher.” It’s draining. It’s oppression and abuse masquerading as curiosity and a willingness to learn when all they want is validation for their actions.

Now, some of y’all are probably like, “Why didn’t you have boundaries?”, which is a question that shows how privileged your life has been not to have
to worry about how having boundaries in the workplace unlocks a whole closet of stereotypes and white supremacist workplace-isms that ultimately threaten your ongoing employment prospects.

Boundaries? Oh, you silly lil’ privileged beavers. Of course, I had boundaries in those workplaces.

The thing is, the clearer I was with my boundaries - signage on my office door that made it clear that I was busy, being available by appointment only, asking people to leave and re-enter my office, stating that I was not willing to consent to a racism “chat”, and even making it clear that people had to knock and be invited in before entering - the more “well-meaning” people of pallor would report me to my supervisor. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to chat with leadership about how I’m not being a “team player,” that my boundaries were somehow in conflict with my job duties (they never were), or that I was the one being harmful to others because I didn’t want to be a racism and bigotry sounding board.

It has always been clear to me that working while Black comes with white supremacy, expecting you to shrink yourself and be used and mistreated as some form of servitude and gratitude to maintain a paycheck. And because I know this? I don’t think I can work in a physical office doing full-time work and feel healthy doing it ever again.

Working remotely has been a blessing for my mental and emotional health, and I don’t believe in letting blessings pass me by.

It’s also saved me from catchin’ a case, so win-win.

[Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”]

On Schadenfreude, Bigotry, and Job Interviews

Image description: A male of pallor is shown in a workplace meeting, making their melanated colleagues highly uncomfortable.

One of my favorite things in the world is watching bigots being outed by the public, losing their jobs. I have no issue with hateful Karens and Chets losing their jobs after their beliefs are shared with their employers by people in the community. But while I love allowing the schadenfreude to wash over me like a gentle autumn rain, I can’t help but think about the one party in these matters that is never held accountable: the companies that hire these people.

I’ve been recruiting and interviewing people for over 20 years. I’ve conducted hundreds of interviews and led dozens of recruitments. Please believe that Karens and Chets don’t suddenly wake up one morning and decide they want to be hateful people. They are and have always been hateful people, and it comes out in their job interviews. The way they answer questions, the way they show up in spaces. The red flags are always there.

And companies hire these people anyway.

I can count on my fingers and toes multiple times how often hiring managers and department heads have willingly ignored red flags around hate and bigotry and pushed someone through a recruitment process because they “really like them,” are “a person I’d grab a beer with,” or they “remind me of myself at that age.” Why?

Because it’s easier to ride with the comforts and familiarity of white supremacy than it is to take a stance and not bring people into your organization that pose a risk to your employees and the people you serve.

It has been proven that people hire people with whom they feel comfortable. Bigots, or people who are comfortable with bigotry happening in front of them and not calling it out, hire bigots. Chets and Karens hire other Chets and Karens. It’s white supremacist workplace culture 101. And it’s never a workplace issue until that bigotry gets attached to the company name in a public way.

Chet and Karen have been doing and saying horrible things at work for years. They’ve been reported to HR and their supervisors for their harmful words and actions for years. But as soon as their hateful nonsense spills out into the public in a way that gets them screenshotted and recorded? Then it’s an immediate dismissal and a well-written PR statement touting how the company doesn’t support these views and cares about equity and inclusion. Meanwhile, everyone who has had to work with and be harmed by Karen and Chet every damn day for years has to sit with the learned understanding that their company has never really cared about equity and inclusion and has no issue with gaslighting their employees around supporting these views.

Be mad at Chet and Karen. Be glad that they’re getting their comeuppance. But save some of those side-eyes for the jerks that employed them in the first place, who now want to absolve themselves of their responsibility in giving these people a paycheck.

[Image description: A male of pallor is shown in a workplace meeting, making their melanated colleagues highly uncomfortable.]

On Safety and the Were-Douche

Safety isn't a given in any workplace environment, especially when you add in the number of degrees you are from being a heterosexual, cisgender person of pallor. And it's definitely not a given in any environment in our society.

And there is no dichotomy that exists between how things happen at work and how they happen in your neighborhood, down to whose safety is prioritized and whose safety is a concept of a plan.

It ain't like Bob from Accounting is a great human being when he's not at work but somehow work "brings out the worst in him." He's not a were-douche who only transforms into a creature that harms and harasses human beings Monday through Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. Nope - Bob is a crappy human being EVERYWHERE, and he's given passes and protection by systems and white supremacist culture and societal norms EVERYWHERE.

Work culture is societal culture. Period.

Let's not tell ourselves otherwise.

[Image description: a snapshot of Pam from the classic sitcom The Office. She can be seen saying, "They're the same picture."]

Image description: a snapshot of Pam from the classic sitcom The Office. She can be seen saying, "They're the same picture."

On Working While Black

Maintaining employment while Black, and trying to make sure you're not being mentally, emotionally, and physically harmed by white supremacy and bigotry while doing so, is...exhausting. And I'm going to stick with the word exhausting because other words I would use are considered expletives.

I'm Black and tired. Always.

Even when I'm at my most rested, there's always an underlying tiredness that comes from living and existing in a world that does not care about you and processing the generational and societal trauma in my Black body to be the healthiest version of myself I can be. And employment being a horrible reflection of the world we live in does nothing to abate that underlying tiredness.

Neither does knowing that what I'm feeling in my brain and body is amplified by five for Black queer folx and times-ten for Black women.

Capitalism while Black is [insert expletive here].