On Layoffs and Not Being OK

I have spent the better part of the last four years working with folx who are being laid off or getting laid off myself.

I know how it feels to support someone who is distraught, confused, uncertain of what their future holds. I know what it feels like to talk to an entire team or division about their positions being cut because of government funding or bad business decisions. I know how deflating and infuriating it feels to work with and participate in meetings with the senior executives and directors making the layoff decisions as they discuss human beings who are going to lose their livelihoods or even communities who are going to lose vital services as dollars and decimals. I know how it feels to speak up in those meetings, to advocate for some semblance of humanity in these proceedings, and to know right then and there that you will now be a shoo-in for the next round of layoffs after they use your humanity and empathy to lay off others. I know how it feels for someone to give you barely any notice and have the audacity to give you two weeks of pay with an expression on their face that is more about their discomfort with being the messenger than it is about how this news impacts you on multiple levels. It's draining. It's frustrating.

And with the current state of the country, I don't see it getting even remotely better anytime soon.

Hundreds of thousands of people are being laid off every month. Job creation has trickled to numbers that are nowhere close to meeting demand. Heavy times are here, and they're likely going to keep getting heavier. And that means that people you know are struggling - mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially struggling - and likely feel conditioned to tell you they're OK.

They're not OK.

And it's OK for them not to be OK right now.

But it's NOT OK for you to be like, "Well, they said they're OK" and never check in again because you're uncomfortable with reality.

To expect anyone who is carrying the weight of everything on their shoulders right now plus seeking employment to "be OK" is to display a lack of connection with humanity, empathy, and reality.

I say all of this to implore you to please check in on your friends and family who have been laid off and workin' their asses off to find a job. Check in from a place of love and compassion, not with a list of questions for them or links to a bunch of positions you found on Indeed. Give them space. Hear them. See them. Feel with them. Let them know that it's OK for them to not be OK. Let them know you will help them any way you can but not hound them about it every time you connect with them. Tap into how you've felt during your roughest workplace moments, your job losses, job losses that impacted you in your family or friends circle, to be present with friends and family who have been impacted by layoffs but DO NOT make it about yourself.

Show up the right way.

The world is heavy enough without those we think care about us adding to it.

On Safety and the Were-Douche

Safety isn't a given in any workplace environment, especially when you add in the number of degrees you are from being a heterosexual, cisgender person of pallor. And it's definitely not a given in any environment in our society.

And there is no dichotomy that exists between how things happen at work and how they happen in your neighborhood, down to whose safety is prioritized and whose safety is a concept of a plan.

It ain't like Bob from Accounting is a great human being when he's not at work but somehow work "brings out the worst in him." He's not a were-douche who only transforms into a creature that harms and harasses human beings Monday through Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. Nope - Bob is a crappy human being EVERYWHERE, and he's given passes and protection by systems and white supremacist culture and societal norms EVERYWHERE.

Work culture is societal culture. Period.

Let's not tell ourselves otherwise.

[Image description: a snapshot of Pam from the classic sitcom The Office. She can be seen saying, "They're the same picture."]

Image description: a snapshot of Pam from the classic sitcom The Office. She can be seen saying, "They're the same picture."

On Working While Black

Maintaining employment while Black, and trying to make sure you're not being mentally, emotionally, and physically harmed by white supremacy and bigotry while doing so, is...exhausting. And I'm going to stick with the word exhausting because other words I would use are considered expletives.

I'm Black and tired. Always.

Even when I'm at my most rested, there's always an underlying tiredness that comes from living and existing in a world that does not care about you and processing the generational and societal trauma in my Black body to be the healthiest version of myself I can be. And employment being a horrible reflection of the world we live in does nothing to abate that underlying tiredness.

Neither does knowing that what I'm feeling in my brain and body is amplified by five for Black queer folx and times-ten for Black women.

Capitalism while Black is [insert expletive here].

On Blackness and Being A Team Player

Being Black is being told you're not a team player for not allowing a workplace to place a metric ton of work and stress on your shoulders while you watch your “affable” co-workers of pallor do the barest of bare minimums while being lauded as great people.

Being Black is being told you're not a team player because you don't want to participate in work parties and picnics and prefer doing your job, doing it well, then going home to live the life you've worked so hard to create in a white supremacist capitalist society.

Being Black is being told you're not a team player because you have boundaries that you enforce and reinforce with co-workers who have none.

Being Black is being told you're not a team player because you don't want to be friends with every person of pallor in your office looking to capture a “Black friend” to co-sign their racist nonsense.

Being Black is being told you're not a team player and being subjected to oppressive actions and attitudes in the workplace that aim to break you and push you into assimilation or conformity as a fraudulent means of survival.

Being Black is being told you're not a team player so much that you start wondering if it's your name.

But real talk?

Being Black eventually comes with the realization that most of y'all don't know what a team player is because y'all are too busy being mired in the nonsense of white supremacist likeability politics.

But you know, keep telling Black folx we’re not team players while we're some of the only ones scoring points for the team.

This Week's Opening Thought: September 24, 2024

This week's opening thought: Here's your reminder to maintain your peace by maintaining your boundaries. Boundaries are healthy.

The folx who always have something to say about you having boundaries are not.

A case in point is Shark Tank investor and long-time unhealthy person of pallor Kevin O'Leary, who has too much money on his hands made off the backs of others and too many "opinions" about respecting people's peace and boundaries.

Australia recently joined the ranks of countries like France, Spain, and Belgium by passing a “right to disconnect” law enacted on August 26. This legislation allows employees to step away from work-related communications outside their official working hours, ensuring that personal time remains personal. O'Leary's take on this? Quote:

"This kind of stuff just makes me crazy. It’s so dumb. Who dreams this crap up is my question. And why would anybody propose such a stupid idea? What happens if you have an event in the office and it’s closed? Or you have an emergency somewhere, and you have to get a hold of them at two in the morning because it affects the job they’re working on?”

He then said that he doesn't hesitate to fire people if he can't reach them at any time of day.

Not answering your phone at some random time of day or night when you're not scheduled to work is a healthy boundary.

Calling people with "urgent" matters at random times of the night because you're up, so everybody should be up and working, and if they're not, they are somehow "less than"? That is an indicator of an unhealthy person.

Do you think Kevin is a healthy person?

Just sayin'.

Gon' 'head and cut that phone off when your shift is over.

Be healthy.