On The Benefits of Working Remote vs. Onsite While Black

Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”

One of the most significant benefits I’ve received from transitioning to remote roles is not having to spend my time in an office where people of pallor can force their way into my personal office space any time they see fit and initiate nonconsensual conversations around how racist, oppressive, and harmful they are.

I have had countless unwanted conversations with “well-meaning” people of pallor in workplaces over the years, around how racist and messed up they are. Every in-person job I’ve had for over a decade has had people of pallor forcing me to be their constant sounding board and “teacher.” It’s draining. It’s oppression and abuse masquerading as curiosity and a willingness to learn when all they want is validation for their actions.

Now, some of y’all are probably like, “Why didn’t you have boundaries?”, which is a question that shows how privileged your life has been not to have
to worry about how having boundaries in the workplace unlocks a whole closet of stereotypes and white supremacist workplace-isms that ultimately threaten your ongoing employment prospects.

Boundaries? Oh, you silly lil’ privileged beavers. Of course, I had boundaries in those workplaces.

The thing is, the clearer I was with my boundaries - signage on my office door that made it clear that I was busy, being available by appointment only, asking people to leave and re-enter my office, stating that I was not willing to consent to a racism “chat”, and even making it clear that people had to knock and be invited in before entering - the more “well-meaning” people of pallor would report me to my supervisor. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to chat with leadership about how I’m not being a “team player,” that my boundaries were somehow in conflict with my job duties (they never were), or that I was the one being harmful to others because I didn’t want to be a racism and bigotry sounding board.

It has always been clear to me that working while Black comes with white supremacy, expecting you to shrink yourself and be used and mistreated as some form of servitude and gratitude to maintain a paycheck. And because I know this? I don’t think I can work in a physical office doing full-time work and feel healthy doing it ever again.

Working remotely has been a blessing for my mental and emotional health, and I don’t believe in letting blessings pass me by.

It’s also saved me from catchin’ a case, so win-win.

[Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”]

On Schadenfreude, Bigotry, and Job Interviews

Image description: A male of pallor is shown in a workplace meeting, making their melanated colleagues highly uncomfortable.

One of my favorite things in the world is watching bigots being outed by the public, losing their jobs. I have no issue with hateful Karens and Chets losing their jobs after their beliefs are shared with their employers by people in the community. But while I love allowing the schadenfreude to wash over me like a gentle autumn rain, I can’t help but think about the one party in these matters that is never held accountable: the companies that hire these people.

I’ve been recruiting and interviewing people for over 20 years. I’ve conducted hundreds of interviews and led dozens of recruitments. Please believe that Karens and Chets don’t suddenly wake up one morning and decide they want to be hateful people. They are and have always been hateful people, and it comes out in their job interviews. The way they answer questions, the way they show up in spaces. The red flags are always there.

And companies hire these people anyway.

I can count on my fingers and toes multiple times how often hiring managers and department heads have willingly ignored red flags around hate and bigotry and pushed someone through a recruitment process because they “really like them,” are “a person I’d grab a beer with,” or they “remind me of myself at that age.” Why?

Because it’s easier to ride with the comforts and familiarity of white supremacy than it is to take a stance and not bring people into your organization that pose a risk to your employees and the people you serve.

It has been proven that people hire people with whom they feel comfortable. Bigots, or people who are comfortable with bigotry happening in front of them and not calling it out, hire bigots. Chets and Karens hire other Chets and Karens. It’s white supremacist workplace culture 101. And it’s never a workplace issue until that bigotry gets attached to the company name in a public way.

Chet and Karen have been doing and saying horrible things at work for years. They’ve been reported to HR and their supervisors for their harmful words and actions for years. But as soon as their hateful nonsense spills out into the public in a way that gets them screenshotted and recorded? Then it’s an immediate dismissal and a well-written PR statement touting how the company doesn’t support these views and cares about equity and inclusion. Meanwhile, everyone who has had to work with and be harmed by Karen and Chet every damn day for years has to sit with the learned understanding that their company has never really cared about equity and inclusion and has no issue with gaslighting their employees around supporting these views.

Be mad at Chet and Karen. Be glad that they’re getting their comeuppance. But save some of those side-eyes for the jerks that employed them in the first place, who now want to absolve themselves of their responsibility in giving these people a paycheck.

[Image description: A male of pallor is shown in a workplace meeting, making their melanated colleagues highly uncomfortable.]

This Week's Opening Thought: August 11, 2025

This week's opening thought: I understand the issues that people have with HR and their criticisms of HR "professonals." I get it. I work in HR and I have the same issues with the industry, its practices, and many of its practitioners. The issues and criticisms many of y'all have are valid. But I want to add something to the conversation that a lot of people don't recognize:

Some of y'all are a WHOLE DAMN HOT MESS.

BRUH.

I have SEEN and HEARD some things at work, y'all, and I am NOT OK.

At least once a month, I see or hear something that someone has said or done at work that makes me wonder about the future of humanity. I have witnessed some horrible people in action, some who have been so heinous that I wouldn't be surprised if I saw them on a future Dateline episode. I've had the displeasure of investigating some heinous, hateful, exploitative, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, ableist situations and interactions and watching in horror and exasperation as all my work and strong recommendations to remove those people from the workplace get thrown in the garbage like someone mimicking Michael Jordan with a wad of paper. Real talk?

It's scary, frustrating, and leaves the people who've been harmed and those trying to support and defend them feeling disregarded and defeated. And it does nothing but add to the narrative that HR folx don't want to help you.

Look, some HR "professionals" are not in the business of helping you. We can all agree on that. But believe me when I say that some of us do want to help you. We are trying, y'all. TRY. EENG. But we're basically swimming upstream against the current in shark-infested waters while getting knives and rocks thrown at us. If it isn't organizational culture and white supremacy it's labor laws that are structured to be manipulated for loopholes because of how vague they are. We're catchin' it from all angles while trying to support and protect people.

Some HR "professionals" deserve the reputation they have. But sometimes? Sometimes people are raggedy, systems are raggedy, and the solutions are raggedy because they're non-existent or neutered to the point where they do more harm than good due to the places we work and the laws we're governed by.

I'm surprised Lester Holt ain't said some of y'all's names yet.

On Safety and the Were-Douche

Safety isn't a given in any workplace environment, especially when you add in the number of degrees you are from being a heterosexual, cisgender person of pallor. And it's definitely not a given in any environment in our society.

And there is no dichotomy that exists between how things happen at work and how they happen in your neighborhood, down to whose safety is prioritized and whose safety is a concept of a plan.

It ain't like Bob from Accounting is a great human being when he's not at work but somehow work "brings out the worst in him." He's not a were-douche who only transforms into a creature that harms and harasses human beings Monday through Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. Nope - Bob is a crappy human being EVERYWHERE, and he's given passes and protection by systems and white supremacist culture and societal norms EVERYWHERE.

Work culture is societal culture. Period.

Let's not tell ourselves otherwise.

[Image description: a snapshot of Pam from the classic sitcom The Office. She can be seen saying, "They're the same picture."]

Image description: a snapshot of Pam from the classic sitcom The Office. She can be seen saying, "They're the same picture."

This Week's Opening Thought: January 13, 2025

This week's opening thought: I would never say that I’m an expert on everything and anything Black because being Black is not monolithic, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that collectively, Black people are bone tired of people of pallor being so visibly shocked that so many people of pallor traffic in hate, bigotry, white supremacy, white violence, and misogynoir. We’re seven days away from likely a decade of struggles and strife that people of pallor overwhelmingly voted for a few months ago, and yet we’re still seeing shocked faces and “hot takes” of pallor.

Bruh.

When y’all bust out the shocked and dismayed faces, vocal tones, and body language theatrics? It feels performative and disingenuous because it often IS performative and disingenuous. And when it isn’t disingenuous? It’s a clear signal of your complacency and complicity in the harm of melanated communities, Black, Brown, and Indigenous peoples, and Black women and femmes. It’s a clear message to Black folx that y’all are choosing to be misinformed and uninformed to maintain your comfort. And it clearly indicates that you think we’re naive or fearful of calling you in or out on your nonsense and leaving you to pick your jaws up off the floor. However, you still want Black folx to think you care so you can maintain fraudulent relationships with us for your egos and “I’m a good person” identities, so you keep trying this weak mess because if just one of us coddles you, you'll get to believe your own ignorant tomfoolery.

Pallor, please.

Black folx ain't got time for that. Never did, never will.

I would tell y’all to do better and examine why this is your default response to the ongoing reality happening all around you (often at your hands), but y'all are too busy engaging in soap opera-level acting and intentional short-term memory loss.