On Saving Those Not Worthy of Your Save

It's the year of someone's Lord 2025 and a whole bunch of y'all are still out here trying to "get through to" hateful, willfully ignorant bigots, hoping to convert them.

Oh, Bro, Broseph, Bro-ham.

Oh, Sister, Sis, Ma'am.

Oh, my friend, my compadre, my peoples.

Y'all gotta stop with the tryin' to save these people.

To paraphrase light-skinned Jermaine, they don't wanna be saved.

People are defending Diddy and Tory Lanez out here, and trying to shame and ridicule those they've harmed. You can't save anybody that deeply enmeshed in that level of misogynoir.

There's a whole bunch of [redacted] people mad that Black folx are happy about the Nottaway Plantation roasting 'til the meat fell off the bone who have the audacity to call it a historical landmark and say tasteless nonsense like, "How would you feel if Auschwitz burned down like this?" You think you're gonna save someone who spews something so simultaneously anti-Black and anti-semetic that it'll make your head spin off of your neck?

There are millions of people who have spent the last 12 years voting for this current administration, knowing damn well what they were backing. Many of them are gleeful about the harm y'all's president and his Dollar General Batman villains are doing to communities across this country, including their own communities. You can't save somebody whose hatred for others is so powerful that they're willing to fall on their own sword multiple times to justify their hatred.

The past 12+ years in this country have made it clear - explicitly clear - that it's time to leave some people behind. If you haven't pivoted already, consider this your notice to turn around and walk away from hateful people and their unflinching toxicity. Focus your energies on the folx in your life and community that need support, because those are the folx who deserve your help and care.

Everybody ain't worth savin', regardless of their relation or degrees of separation from you and yours.

Hate doesn't deserve so much of your love.

This Week's Opening Thought: February 11, 2025

This week's opening thought: We’re not even two months into the year of someone’s lord 2025, and I am already tired of dealing with and witnessing pallor-based mediocrity. Just exhausted. I need me two naps right now, y’all, back to back. And I’d still need two more.

I was already tired of watching mediocre men of pallor try to destroy us all, including the men of pallor they deem more mediocre than themselves, only for pallor apologists to come crawling out of the woodwork to defend them. But these past few weeks have got me bone tired.

I was already tired of pallor-based mediocrity being the vocal “law of the land,” leading to hate and harm for millions of people because mediocre people of pallor are scared of their own mortality and the realization that the world is ready to evolve past them and the systems they built. But right now, I’m deep in my body tired.

And I’m absolutely exhausted with witnessing the sheer audacity and caucasity of this new push from mediocre men of pallor and their apologists to cry wolf and scream autism whenever they’re held accountable for their hateful words and actions, diminishing and belittling the complexities of those on the spectrum to try and mask how horribly mediocre, weak, and feebly dangerous to everyone they are.

The United States was built on the fragility of pallor and pallor politics designed to try and divide, oppress, and neuter every single person on its stolen land through mediocrity. And I’ll be damned if that mediocrity so many of y’all yearned for to “make America great again” ain’t draining me right now.

I know I’m not the only one.

Then y’all have the audacity and caucasity to get mad at Black people, Black women, and question why we’re deciding to sit this one out.

We tired, foo. Of you and all of this.

Save yourselves. We restin’ up for the next battle to save OURSELVES.

This Week's Opening Thought: February 3, 2025

Image description: a montage of Dorothy from "The Golden Girls" looking on with disappointment and derision. The montage is captioned, "People of pallor: 'I didn't vote for him.' The look on my face, knowing how many people of pallor voted for this mess, making the statement 'I didn't vote for him' invalid."

This week's opening thought: Since y'all's president started his second term, I've received many direct messages and comments on my post from people of pallor who want me to know they didn't vote for this horrible man, his cronies, and the complete dismantling of the already raggedy systems of democracy in the United States. My response to this?

Girl, bye.

60% of cis males of pallor and 53% of cis women of pallor voted for y'all's president and his "agenda." I've shared those numbers multiple times in the past few weeks. I'm going to continue making sure these numbers are front and center. Why?

Because if you're a person of pallor, even if you didn't vote for this, you know someone who did.

Real talk? The odds of y'all [people of pallor] having a fellow person of pallor in your social circles who voted for all of this turmoil are supremely high. You've got an uncle, cousin, or in-law of pallor who voted for this. You have a close friend or neighbor of pallor who you always kick it with who voted for this. Some of y'all have spouses of pallor who you know voted for this.

And I don't see y'all checkin' none of them.

But y'all be quick to hop on a Black woman's social media feed and try to check them, or make sure to say "not it" when a Black person holds y'all collectively accountable for this mess. Speaks volumes.

Just admit, y'all don't like holding each other accountable or taking responsibility for the ongoing harm your people have done for centuries. Our current situation? This isn't new. It might seem "new," but it's a rinse and repeat of white supremacy.

You've done it to melanated countries and communities for centuries. Hell, y'all have done this to each other for centuries. It's what y'all do the moment your people's perceived "superiority"/power over everyone and everything has holes poked in its paper-thin veneer.

Your saying, "I didn't vote for him," does not outweigh the fact that more than half of your people who exercised their right to vote submitted their ballots for...ALL of this. Your people are overwhelmingly represented in this life-altering harm.

You don't get a cookie or a gold star for assuring us that you didn't vote for this.

But you do get a side-eye.

Girl, bye.

Go check yourself and your people.

[Image description: a montage of Dorothy from "The Golden Girls" looking on with disappointment and derision. The montage is captioned, "People of pallor: 'I didn't vote for him.' The look on my face, knowing how many people of pallor voted for this mess, making the statement 'I didn't vote for him' invalid."]

This Week's Opening Thought: January 13, 2025

This week's opening thought: I would never say that I’m an expert on everything and anything Black because being Black is not monolithic, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that collectively, Black people are bone tired of people of pallor being so visibly shocked that so many people of pallor traffic in hate, bigotry, white supremacy, white violence, and misogynoir. We’re seven days away from likely a decade of struggles and strife that people of pallor overwhelmingly voted for a few months ago, and yet we’re still seeing shocked faces and “hot takes” of pallor.

Bruh.

When y’all bust out the shocked and dismayed faces, vocal tones, and body language theatrics? It feels performative and disingenuous because it often IS performative and disingenuous. And when it isn’t disingenuous? It’s a clear signal of your complacency and complicity in the harm of melanated communities, Black, Brown, and Indigenous peoples, and Black women and femmes. It’s a clear message to Black folx that y’all are choosing to be misinformed and uninformed to maintain your comfort. And it clearly indicates that you think we’re naive or fearful of calling you in or out on your nonsense and leaving you to pick your jaws up off the floor. However, you still want Black folx to think you care so you can maintain fraudulent relationships with us for your egos and “I’m a good person” identities, so you keep trying this weak mess because if just one of us coddles you, you'll get to believe your own ignorant tomfoolery.

Pallor, please.

Black folx ain't got time for that. Never did, never will.

I would tell y’all to do better and examine why this is your default response to the ongoing reality happening all around you (often at your hands), but y'all are too busy engaging in soap opera-level acting and intentional short-term memory loss.

This Week's Opening Thought: December 30, 2024

This week’s opening thought: As I walk away from my current day job and onto better things, I find myself entertained by how often Black folx, Black women, will leave a workplace after being overworked, unappreciated, and treated like less-than-crap for years while every person of pallor and pallor sympathizer who contributed to their harm come to the realization that those Black folx were the glue holding it all together.

Y'all treat us like refuse, and we still show up and show out.

Many of you probably thought that our work ethic and the use of our multi-faceted skillsets symbolized our allegiance to your organization. Nah, son.

That's our allegiance to ourselves.

What do we look like throwing our careers and dreams away because you think white supremacy, misogynoir, and anti-Blackness are imaginary friends?

Believe me when I say we know our value. We know it deep in our souls, straight from our ancestors. We also know you're using and viewing us differently than the mediocre people of pallor and yes-men you surround us with and make us report to.

So we use you while viewing you as what you are: abusers, users, racists, white supremacists.

We learn, grow, and evolve on your dime. Then, we use you as a launching pad to bigger and better things. And we walk away without guilt, knowing you'll learn nothing from our exchange. Of course you'll posit yourself as the victim, like somehow us leaving wrongs you. You lack the intangible humanity threads needed to acknowledge how your hate and ignorance earned your house of cards tumbling into chaos. You won’t see how the dominoes always fall: when one leaves it generates a movement of hope. You’ll begin losing the melanin that drives your organization forward. You’ll start to freak out when the people of pallor and pallor sympathizers you lauded for bending the knee are incapable of stepping up with the high levels of energy and knowledge that just walked out your front door. And you’ll blame everyone and everything but yourselves.

Que sera.

You didn’t “believe in DEI” anyway. You’ll “survive.”

Better go buy some Elmer’s, son.