On The Benefits of Working Remote vs. Onsite While Black

Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”

One of the most significant benefits I’ve received from transitioning to remote roles is not having to spend my time in an office where people of pallor can force their way into my personal office space any time they see fit and initiate nonconsensual conversations around how racist, oppressive, and harmful they are.

I have had countless unwanted conversations with “well-meaning” people of pallor in workplaces over the years, around how racist and messed up they are. Every in-person job I’ve had for over a decade has had people of pallor forcing me to be their constant sounding board and “teacher.” It’s draining. It’s oppression and abuse masquerading as curiosity and a willingness to learn when all they want is validation for their actions.

Now, some of y’all are probably like, “Why didn’t you have boundaries?”, which is a question that shows how privileged your life has been not to have
to worry about how having boundaries in the workplace unlocks a whole closet of stereotypes and white supremacist workplace-isms that ultimately threaten your ongoing employment prospects.

Boundaries? Oh, you silly lil’ privileged beavers. Of course, I had boundaries in those workplaces.

The thing is, the clearer I was with my boundaries - signage on my office door that made it clear that I was busy, being available by appointment only, asking people to leave and re-enter my office, stating that I was not willing to consent to a racism “chat”, and even making it clear that people had to knock and be invited in before entering - the more “well-meaning” people of pallor would report me to my supervisor. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to chat with leadership about how I’m not being a “team player,” that my boundaries were somehow in conflict with my job duties (they never were), or that I was the one being harmful to others because I didn’t want to be a racism and bigotry sounding board.

It has always been clear to me that working while Black comes with white supremacy, expecting you to shrink yourself and be used and mistreated as some form of servitude and gratitude to maintain a paycheck. And because I know this? I don’t think I can work in a physical office doing full-time work and feel healthy doing it ever again.

Working remotely has been a blessing for my mental and emotional health, and I don’t believe in letting blessings pass me by.

It’s also saved me from catchin’ a case, so win-win.

[Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”]

On The Spectrum and Fake Empathy

So...let me speak on this one time, mainly because I realized that I've talked about it everywhere else but here:

If you heard what RFK Jr. said about autism and you didn't find yourself infuriated, scared, and ready to stand up for people in your life and community, it says a lot about how you're deciding to be "present" in the moment right now.

It speaks volumes about how performative your "allyship" is in moments of grave danger. It is an indictment of how you view Black and Brown lives. It's shows how you view people with disabilities. And it wipes away you showing up at those Hands Off protests a few weekends ago.

Now, some of y'all are gonna read that and be like, "It can't simultaneously be all of that, Pharoah." But, you see, it can and is ALL OF THAT. Past precedent, established over hundreds of years, has shown us time and again that it is all of those things. Those of you who say it can't be are choosing to be highly uneducated in the ways of oppression and refuse to see how picking and choosing what you care about to feed your "good person" complex is a key component of white supremacist culture. And real talk?

Ain't nobody got time for your apathy and discomfort with things you feel don't impact your life poorly disguised as empathy. Lives are at stake.

History has shown us that when dangerous, uneducated people are given power and control over any aspect of the populace, they more often than not create an even more dangerous set of precedents than they inherited. RFK Jr. and the deceased brain worm chillin' in his head should've never been given dominion over the health and well-being of the country, but because 60% of men of pallor, 53% of women of pallor, and 50% of Latine and Hispanic men voted for y'all's president, we now have a man who staged a bear homicide out here saying inaccurate, derisive, and dangerous statements about autism that will endanger the lives of millions of people.

I refuse to reiterate anything that man and his parelaphostrongylus tenuis said, but we should all be able to see that his hateful words masquerading as "expert" and "empathic" language are going to cause so much unnecessary harm, sterotyping, and prejudice for millions of people. He clearly doesn't understand autism in any way, shape, or form, yet here we are with the safety of millions in the hands of a person who refuses to believe decades of legitimate research and thinks he knows something when he has shown us time and again he knows nothing.

This transcends race, gender identities, socioeconomic statuses, and any other protected or non-protected class you might want to throw into the pot. But you know what?

EVERY FORM OF OPPRESSION DOES.

But y'all don't hear me, though.

And the wild thing is that most of y'all have autistic folx in your lives.

Just as wild is the fact that a whole grip of y'all are undiagnosed autistic folx who voted for what's about to happen.

Well, may the odds be forever in your favor, with yo' fake ass.

"...And they'll wish they never met you at all!"

[Image description: Stills from Carl Thomas' "I Wish" music video. In the first image, Carl Thomas can be seen looking out of his car window while driving. He has a look of despair on his face at what he is seeing. The second image shows Carl leaning back in his seat. He looks sick to his stomach as he holds in a deflated breath. He has a defeated look on his face. Both pictures are captioned with "White people when they share something wild they've said or done to a person of culture, look to another person of culture for validation or a cosign and realize they're about to get checked."]

[Image description: Stills from Carl Thomas' "I Wish" music video. In the first image, Carl Thomas can be seen looking out of his car window while driving. He has a look of despair on his face at what he is seeing. The second image shows Carl leaning back in his seat. He looks sick to his stomach as he holds in a deflated breath. He has a defeated look on his face. Both pictures are captioned with "White people when they share something wild they've said or done to a person of culture, look to another person of culture for validation or a cosign and realize they're about to get checked."]

On Nat, Magical Girls, and the Intersection of Justice

Sometimes, my energy is magical girl energy.

Sometimes, my energy is Nat Turner energy.

Either way, understand that justice is always at the center of who I am.

Also understand that you do not wanna come around me with hate and bigotry and catch me on a day where the Nat Turner in me pulls out his Sailor Scout wand to dispatch you and your ugliness.

Believe that.

On Wolves, White Violence, and "Changing the World" After Reading One Anti-Racism Book

One of the ongoing conversations I have with white people is around them feeling like they've taken a couple of trainings, read a few books, and now understand 400+ years of racism and white supremacy to the point where they're ready to "change the world" and "be an ally."

Y’all don’t realize how dangerous y’all are.

I would rather you didn’t open up the door to learning if you weren’t going to come in, take a seat, and make it your forever home.

All y’all are doing is adding more weapons to your anti-Black, racist, white supremacy-upholding arsenal. You’re more dangerous to communities of color, Black, Brown, and Indigenous communities, when you know a little because y’all conflate it as if you know a lot and wield your good/bad binary like a Morningstar.

I have yet to see a white person who has attended a couple of trainings at work and read a few basic books do anything but harm melanated folx while thinking they’re helping us with their new “education.” And I have yet to see an “educated” white person respond to being called in or out about harming others demonstrate that they have the emotional maturity and ongoing understanding of white supremacy enough to take in the feedback, atone, and do better.

Wolves in ill-fitting sheep’s clothing.

If you’re going to open the door, come in, stay awhile, and decide if you’re gonna love it or list it.

For all our sakes.

[Image Description: An image of two wolves staring at each other under a big moon. Above them are the words, “White people: inside you there are two wolves.” Below them are the words, “They’re both racist. One of them just hides it better than the other.”]

Image Description: An image of two wolves staring at each other under a big moon. Above them are the words, “White people: inside you there are two wolves.” Below them are the words, “They’re both racist. One of them just hides it better than the other.”