On Ryan, Diane, and Wishes

As I take a moment to reflect on the week, like I do every Friday, I think about how much I want my people to feel safe, seen, heard, and rested.

I think about Ryan Gainer and how he should still be here if law enforcement officers were taught that the intersection of race and ASD often leads to fatal action at the hands of those claiming to serve and protect. I think about how his family will never be settled. I fear for the next Black person on the spectrum who finds themselves dealing with the police.

I think about Dianne Abbott and how she should be able to speak truth to power without being silenced and diminished by people of pallor who can't fathom the reality that their niceties are neatly packaged hatred. I think about the calls for violence against her life led by a pale millionaire who will likely face no repercussions for his rhetoric.

I sit with all of this and wonder why this is part of the Black existence, this pervasive fear for our lives, livelihood, and safety. Questions pop into my head:

How does it feel to be carefree and never honestly think about your life constantly being on the line for just existing?

What would people of pallor do if they were looking at a lifetime of scrutiny and danger for doing everyday things they take for granted?

What if having a disability increased their chances of being harmed by society because of the melanin in their skin?

Would people of pallor tell the truth about their traumatic experiences at the hands of the so-called dominant class if their lives and livelihood were in danger because of the discomfort those truths caused?

I ask those questions and then check myself because I know these questions never arise for most people of pallor. I know they never put themselves in our shoes; even if they did, they'd complain about the fit.

I wish Black lives and safety weren't a novelty.

I wish we could rest with a deep, whole-body rest that allows our bodies and brains to cry, exhale, and cry some more until we feel less weary.

I wish for things I'll never see in my lifetime, but that doesn't mean I'll stop wishing.

I want my people to feel safe, seen, heard, and rested.

I know that's too much to ask for in a world fueled by white supremacy.

[Image description: Two images. The first picture is of a young Black man from California named Ryan Gainer. He can be seen smiling at the camera while standing in a parking lot. The second picture is of a Black woman named Diane Abbott. She was the first Black woman elected to the British Parliament. She is seen smiling at the camera.]

This Week's Opening Thought: February 13, 2023

This week's opening thought, especially for white people and Black people who have used Black women as the holders of their trauma and enmeshed white supremacist ideologies for centuries: Black women don't owe you anything.

They don't owe you knowledge or advice, labor, or entertainment. They don't owe you an "incredible" Super Bowl halftime show based on what you think you "deserve" to watch. They don't owe you 60+ hours per week in the workplace to do work you'll take credit for while still talking over them in meetings and disregarding their needs. They don't have to meet ridiculous capitalist and anti-Black expectations - expectations and pressure that you're harboring in your body and won't process yet expect a Black woman to hold and process for you - to be considered incredible or excellent. They don't owe you ego-stroking to cater to your white supremacist need for comfort. They don't owe you the opportunity to force them to shrink themselves, their goals, their joy, and their identities so you can feel good about your self-image, intelligence, or work ethic.

Black women owe you nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

But many of y'all owe Black women the world and then some, and you have for a very long time.

It's about time y'all paid what you owe.

On Brittney, Breonna, and Giving Black Women Their Flowers

TW: Murder, anti-Blackness, violence, and systemic and intentional harm of Black women.

Brittney Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison today by Russian prosecutors. For a vape and some vape cartridges. And now Brittney Griner will be a political pawn in a dangerous "pissing match" game between two stubborn white cis men who fashion themselves as leaders. One was elected by the U.S. American people not because he was the most qualified but because we were given limited options. One elected himself by force, as white cis men are prone to do.

Nine years. For a vape and some vape cartridges.

It's taken over two years for the family of Breonna Taylor to even remotely see the possibility of justice and accountability for her unnecessary and reckless murder at the hands of Louisville, Kentucky, police officers. And while these are federal charges they're now facing, there's no guarantee Breonna's murderers will be held accountable for their actions.

Over two years. In a case where all the evidence points to blatant recklessness, endangerment, and murder.

Damnit.

This world truly goes out of its way to harm Black women, to disregard their worth and life, use them, drain them, and discard them. I'm tired.

I know Black women are beyond tired.

Sending all of my love, energy, and support to Black women today and every day as the world sends y'all reminders of how much y'all have to endure to live and thrive. Y'all deserve all the flowers, the love, and support in this cruel world.