This Week's Opening Thought: July 1, 2024

This week's opening thought: I call people in and out as needed. And I get called in and out, too. I'm not immune to being called in or out. I welcome it. I'm fallible, and sometimes, I need to get checked. I believe that part of being a decent person (not a "good" person, mind you, but a decent person. That "good person" schtick is christian values-driven patriarchal white supremacist nonsense in western culture) is being able to be called to task for your actions or behaviors and to learn from your missteps. I'll only kick it with those willing to call me in or out when I mess up and do harm. But real talk?

Some of you hold yourself to a different or non-existent standard of accountability and self-accountability, and it shows.

I have had to block a lot of folx lately—like, A LOT. And I'm usually not sad about that. Block and delete exist for a reason. But it's been a little bittersweet lately—I'd argue even a little sad. Why?

I've had to block a lot of people of color and intersectional folx lately.

I'm not naive. I know how patriarchal heteronormative white supremacist ideology works. I understand how self-loathing generated by centuries of generational trauma manifests. But it never feels OK to have to check melanated folx and intersectional folx who are so deeply entrenched in patriarchal white supremacist ideology that they are inherently tools of their oppressors.

I feel for them. I can't imagine what unresolved and unearthed traumas sit in their brains and bodies to engage in oppression willingly. To be willingly oppressive, to have hateful views in a world that has been conditioned to hate you for just existing, has to be quite the internal struggle. I can call them in. I can educate. I can empathize. I can also hope they find healing and wish them peace and mindfulness. But they can go find that peace and mindfulness somewhere way over there, away from me and mine, because it's no one's job to coddle someone and give them countless opportunities to do you, and other people harm when they refuse to unpack their sh--. People often show you who they are, and you have to eventually take in the messages you're receiving or become an accessory to their oppressive views and trauma.

You can't teach anyone who doesn't want to learn or believes they know everything or "enough," identities or ethnocultural heritage connections be damned.

Block 'em, delete 'em, and ask someone to burn some sage for their soul while they stand downwind so the smoke can hit their asses far away from your vicinity.

That's as close as you can get to saving someone's soul.

A Quick Sit-Down on Juneteenth

Hey, people of pallor. It's y'boy, Pharoah. Not "your boy" - y'boy. Believe me when I say there is a difference.

But I digress.

We've got bigger fish to fry, so let me pull up a chair and straddle it like Commander Riker so we can have a quick chat.

You sitting down? You comfy? Alright. Awesome. Let's "rap."

I don't know the proper "greeting" or "well wishes" message that someone who isn't Black should offer to Black people on Juneteenth, but y'all wishing me a Happy Juneteenth does not feel right.

It gives "progeny of oppressors hoping you will give them a pass because, hey, you're getting a federal holiday for your ancestor's suffering, so why are you uncomfortable with me acknowledging the holiday that exists because of my ancestors oppressing your ancestors" vibes, which is not a good look.

So I'm gonna float a few alternatives your way so you don't have to insert your foot in your mouth on some fetish sh--.

Maybe you shouldn't say anything to the Black people in your lives outside of maybe hoping that today is a day of rest for them if they have it off from work.

Maybe you could not treat Juneteenth like a summer barbecue holiday and not diminish its significance like you've diminished Labor Day, Memorial Day, or even Independence Day.

Maybe you could take some time today to learn Juneteenth's history and significance while enjoying your unearned federal day off.

Maybe you could legitimately volunteer your time and energy to a cause supporting Black communities in your city while enjoying your unearned federal day off.

Maybe you could recognize that Juneteenth only represents the emancipation of enslaved Africans in Confederate states and that enslaved Africans as a whole weren't free across the United States until the passage and ratification of the Thirteenth Amendment in December 1865, so Juneteenth, while being a significant moment in Black U.S. history, isn't the "Black Independence Day" y'all have been led to believe it is.

...

You're gonna go ahead and ignore everything I said because it feels uncomfortable in your tummy and wish me a Happy Juneteenth anyway, aren't you?

Of course you are.

SIGH.

Well, I tried.

"Good talk."

[Image description: A cartoon of Star Trek: The Next Generation character Commander Riker awkwardly straddling and sitting in a chair.]

Image description: A cartoon of Star Trek: The Next Generation character Commander Riker awkwardly straddling and sitting in a chair.

This Week's Opening Thought: June 17, 2024

This week's opening thought: Michigan Republican primary congressional candidate Anthony Hudson posted a video on his TikTok account in which an AI-enhanced voice of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr endorsed him.

Anthony is a person of pallor, but I probably didn't need to tell you that. You probably knew it as soon as you read the first sentence above.

Anthony is also uber-conservative in the most dangerous ways, but I probably didn't need to tell you that, either. You probably knew it as soon as you read the first sentence above, or at least knew it by the time you finished the second paragraph.

I'm not going to post the video. I've heard it, and it's not something I'm willing to subject others to. It's triggering as hell. But here's what the AI-generated voice of Dr. King had to say:

"I have another dream. Yes, it is me, Martin Luther King. I came back from the dead to say something. As I was saying, I have another dream that Anthony Hudson will be Michigan's 8th District's next congressman. Yes, I have a dream again. OK, now I am going back to where I came from. Goodbye."

And, of course, Anthony is unapologetic about the whole thing after claiming he would fire the volunteer responsible for creating and posting the video. He's made a complete 180. But I probably didn't need to tell you that, either, if you know anything about white supremacy and how it intersects with self-preservation and pious idiocy.

Anthony believes that if Dr. King were alive today, he would, and I quote, "endorse me and my vision for a better Michigan because he would be disgusted at the complete suffering of Flint, Michigan residents under the current administration's watch."

Yep. You're right, Anthony. Dr. King would be disgusted at the ongoing suffering of the people of Flint under every President's watch for the last 12 years.

He'd also be disgusted with you trying to use his voice to suit your anti-Black, uber-conservative agenda propelled by racism and white supremacy.

What a way to prove you know nothing about the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., his work, or civil rights in general, Anthony.

One day, some person of pallor will read Dr. King's work, absorb its contents, and understand what he's talking about so they can check every other person of pallor around them using Dr. King's words to suit their own hateful agendas and beliefs. I probably won't be here when that day comes, but I hope someone from the Black delegation is there to witness it.

Like I needed another reason to loathe the application of AI in our daily lives.

On Resilience, Privilege, Catchphrases, and Affirmations

If you view resilience as something you can quantify as a "side quest" achievement that can be yours if you "work hard" and "dedicate yourself" to cultivating it, then you need to take a moment to acknowledge that you have led a privileged life.

A whole lot of us are resilient because we had no choice.

For many of us, it's about being resilient or perishing. Many of us come from lineages and ancestries that had to be resilient in the face of overwhelming oppression, racism, colonialism, elitism, classism, and white supremacy. Many of us carry the weight of our ancestors in our bodies while we navigate a world still using the same tools to oppress our communities 300+ years later. Many have identities that put us at odds with societal "norms" when all we want to do is live and thrive. Many of us tap into our resiliency daily because it's either fight or die.

There's no in-between.

If you're able to view resilience as a catchphrase, a watered-down yoga affirmation from your "guru" of pallor, or a "workplace value" for your company that you espouse to new hires with glee and gusto, you have no idea how privileged you are.

But hey, at least it looks "awesome" on that Etsy motivational poster you've got up in your house or cubicle, right?

On Cis Men and Choices

As a cis man, I want to be clear that cis men are fed a lot of patriarchal, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist nonsense as they grow up and go into the world. It's modeled to them by men in their families and communities and made into "guidelines" for what a "real man" is. Cis men are inundated with paper-thin role models and horrible advice that diminishes their identities and worth.

But none of that is an excuse for any cis man to be a bag of crap.

Cis men can do better.

I grew up in the 80's. Toxic, violent masculinity was everywhere. I grew up with the same buckets of filtered nonsense, and I don't go around harming folx and spouting off "real men" rhetoric in every space I find. I don't make it my life mission to belittle others to assert my masculinity. I don't look the other way when cis men harm other people and say things like, "Boys will be boys," or call people derogatory phrases if they aren't "tough enough."

At some point, we have to acknowledge that you can have trauma and need to unlearn things, but neither excuses male toxicity and violence.

Cis men can do better. But cis men have to choose to do better, to be better, and be vulnerable enough to admit they have much work to choose to engage in to be better.

Cis men can do better.

Many choose not to.

Emphasis on choice.