On Wedding Websites and Rulings of Hate

This morning, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of Lorie Smith, a "Christian" graphic designer who wanted the right to discriminate against same-sex couples seeking her services. This ruling went in her favor despite a Colorado law prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation, race, gender, and other protected characteristics. Smith's argument? That the Colorado law violated her free speech rights.

The conservative U.S. Supreme Court agreed with her.

How did this law violate her "freedom of speech?" Your guess is as good as mine, seeing how no one was twisting her arm to force her to take jobs or be hateful.

Lorie's raggedy ass could've politely declined the request, stating she was busy or unavailable, but she didn't. I'm not saying this move is the right or best way to handle things because it would still be a hateful move, but it wouldn't be as confrontational and escalated as this situation became. Do you know how many white people I've encountered who dislike me and my people but decide their vitriol for me isn't worth escalating, so they passively opt out of things? Way more than you'd think. I know members of LGBTQIA+ communities face similar situations. The couple who sought out Lorie's services could've moved on, likely knowing that there was an underlying current of hate to their request being declined but maybe not feeling like this battle was worth escalating (sadly, many of us have to pick and choose which battles to fight and when).

Lorie didn't have to make it an openly hateful thing with these potential clients, but she did. Lorie didn't have to be aggressively homophobic but chose to be. But Lorie was worried about her "freedom of speech" being taken from her. Real talk?

Lorie wasn't worried about her freedom of speech. Lorie was worried about decency infringing on what she believes is her freedom to hate others "in the name of the Lord."

And now every hateful, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, racist, bigoted, faux Christian business owner in the United States will refuse to serve countless communities because the U.S. Supreme Court has declared they have the right to do so.

You have the right to have your beliefs until your beliefs are constantly wielded as clubs of hatred, bigotry, and white supremacy that harm or murder others. Then they aren't beliefs anymore. They're hate crimes.

The U.S. Supreme Court thinks otherwise.

On Student Loan Debt and System Design

The student loan debt ruling was shared with the masses this morning. You can likely guess the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling without having to go and look it up.

🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏽‍♀️

And there goes the possibility of millions of U.S. Americans being able to break cycles of debt and poverty in their lifetime and generations to come. And all because they wanted an education to improve things for themselves and their families. That's what we were told to do, right? Take out loans that have grown increasingly more predatory over the past thirty years with little to no governmental checks and balances to go to college to get degrees that we might barely earn a living with, if we're lucky, just enough left over to spend the next fifty years of our lives trying to repay them while trying to eat, pay our bills, take care of our mental and physical health, and save money to help the next generation seek an education without the shackles they witness us unable to break.

The beat goes on.

And it's all by design in a country whose decision-makers have openly let it be known how they feel about the masses being educated, especially the poor and underserved, the melanated, and those whom the original sins of this unceded land have rendered invisible and subhuman.

I guess most of us best get back to budgeting. September will be here before we know it.

On Normalizing a New Normal

Normalize walking away from people and relationships that do not energize, elevate, comfort, or support you, your trauma, and your healing how you need them to.

Normalize walking away from people and relationships that let it be known, blatantly or subtly, that your focusing on your health and well-being is somehow an affront to their toxicity and how they want to use your shoulders to carry their trauma.

Normalize the understanding that blood may be thicker than water, but they are both liquids with the power to drown you, body and soul, and you deserve to remain undrowned.

Normalize that there is a thin line between codependence and helping and supporting those you love and that the line is so thin because, for many of us, it is a taut thread of generational and societal trauma that our families and friends are scared to tug on lest it unravels and leave us to face our traumas raw and unfiltered.

Normalize embodying that you are enough and deserve to rest, heal, and be surrounded by supportive people who care about you and your needs.

Normalize that all of the above-mentioned are not selfish thoughts.

Normalize a new normal.

We all deserve that.

On Looking Both Ways and Frog-Based Evasion Maneuvers

I look both ways when I cross the street. Even when crossing a one-way street, I look both ways. Why?

Because some of y'all think you're driving in the right direction until you run someone over. Then you expect the instant gratification of instantaneous forgiveness for doing the bare minimum to atone for your actions. And when you don't get instant gratification, your sincere apology devolves into blaming the person you ran over for being in your way and getting run over.

Some of y'all know you're not driving in the right direction, and don't skip a beat in your forward movement when you run someone over. And when you're asked to atone and do better in the future, you can't help but unleash anger you feel is justified toward those you've run over. Hell, sometimes y'all hit reverse and run those you've already hit over again.

And some of you realize you're not driving in the right direction but think you can go the wrong way just this once. You know that no one will notice or hold you accountable for your actions. You’ve got privilege on your side. Besides, it's not that big of a deal, right? So what if you go the wrong direction and graze a few people? They'll be fine. The people you've hit? They need to get over it. And if they don't want to "get over it" and expect you to be accountable for your actions? Well, they're blowing things out of proportion. It's not like you killed them or anything, right? They can walk it off!

And many of y'all are going in the right direction and still running folx over. And instead of staying with the person you've run over until help arrives, y'all put the pedal to the floor and get the hell out of dodge. I mean, you've got a reputation to maintain. You're a good person. You donated to causes last year and marched in your city after George Floyd was murdered. You're one of the good ones. You can't have people out here thinking you don't care if you harm others. So what if the person you just hit is trying to get back to their feet and looking your way, expecting you to take responsibility for your actions? If they only knew the kind of person you are, they would understand this was just a mistake. Never mind that you did the same thing a week ago. You're a good person, dammit!

So, of course, I look both ways when I cross the street, even when crossing a one-way street. What kind of fool do you think I am? Do I look like Boo-Boo the Fool to you? What do I look like stepping off the curb just because the light turned green and expecting some of y'all not to run me over after centuries of watching people like me, people who are just trying to cross the damn street, getting run over and receiving no justice?

Some of us spend our entire lives trying to get across the street with as many of our parts, emotions, and faculties intact as possible.

And some of y'all are out here playing Frogger.

Some of y'all need to change more than just a dollar for four quarters.

A Sunday Thought for White People

A Sunday thought for white people: If you've spent the last 3-5 years or more going to “diversity” and anti-racism and white supremacy dismantling trainings while reading a zillion books on these topics, yet you still automatically jump to defensive maneuvers, white fragility and violence when you or another white person you know is called in or out for their conscious or unconscious hateful words or actions then you need to call it a day because you haven't or are unwilling to learn how not to be a perpetual danger to Black folx, melanated folx, and the Global Majority.

You're not learning or integrating anything you're exposed to or reading into your daily life. All you're doing is inadvertently making yourself more dangerous to Black and Brown folx, to melanated folx. Because you’re enmeshed in white supremacist ideology and scared of acknowledging and processing how you do and have harmed melanated folx, all you're getting from all the books and trainings are additional weapons to wield against the Global Majority when you feel “in danger” and a false sense of superiority over other white people. Until you’re willing and able to do the work, you're going to need to digest the fact that you are going through the motions for kudos and clout. And you expect melanated folx, the Global Majority, to provide you those kudos and co-signs. And that kind of performative nonsense is for you, not for me and mine like so many of you like to claim it is.

Do me a favor: don't do me no favors.

Go read a Nicholas Sparks novel or something.