Black Poetry Tuesdays (August 1, 2023 Edition): "Grief #213” by Saeed Jones

The week’s Black Poetry Tuesdays piece is from Saeed Jones. Saeed is a queer Black U.S. American writer and poet. His debut poetry collection, Prelude to Bruise, was named a 2014 finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award for poetry. Saeed’s second book, a memoir, How We Fight for Our Lives, won the Kirkus Prize for Nonfiction in 2019. Jones's work centers on the intersections of the Black and queer experiences in the United States in relation to the world around us. His work speaks of liberation, introspection, trauma, and joy.

The following piece is called “Grief #213.” In this piece, Jones walks through being the token friend, the only Black person in a white person’s life. He talks about being seen yet being invisible in the eyes of white supremacy and anti-Blackness, going through the motions while realizing that your white “friend” will never understand how much of yourself you sacrifice in your relationship with them. As someone who has had these interactions with white “friends” up until 7 or so years ago, I felt this poem in my bones.

Grief #213

I grieve forced laughter, shrieks sharp as broken
champagne flutes and the bright white necks I wanted
to press the shards against. I grieve the dead bird of my right
hand on my chest, the air escaping my throat’s prison,
the scream mangled into a mere “ha!” I grieve unearned
exclamations. I grieve saying “you are so funny!” I grieve
saying “you’re killing me!” when I meant to say “you are
killing me.” I have died right in front of you so many times;
my ghost is my plus-one tonight. I grieve being your Black
confidante. I grieve being your best and your only. I grieve
“But you get it, right?” Right. I grieve that I got it
and I get it and I am it.

You can learn more about Saeed here.

A Mid-Week Leadership Tip

Hey, leader folx! Happy Wednesday! Here's a leadership tip (that you should not need someone to give you because it should be a given) to guide the rest of your week: Show gratitude to your team members every day.

Yes. Seriously. Show gratitude to your team members. Every. Day.

They are bustin' their asses for you and your organization, putting in work that makes you and your organization look good in every arena. They give your team and organization their energy, insights, and skills daily. A chunk of their life is spent in your workplace, and this is time they will never get back to spend with their friends, families, and communities or even dedicate to their passions and healing. Please show them some respect every damn day. Thank them for all the work they do for you and everything they contribute to your organization, even the "basic" things that most of us easily take for granted. Let it be known to every other senior leader you work with that your success is team success, and your team should be thanked for their work. And if you're going to say thank you?

Mean it.

Don't be out here going through the motions and acting like someone is twisting your arm. Don't say thank you because "that's what you're supposed to do." You're not an automaton. You're a human being with a heart and soul. You have feelings. You know what it feels like not to be given respect or gratitude for the things you've done that you don't expect respect and appreciation for. You know what it feels like to bust your ass and have a leader not show you gratitude and take credit for your energy and effort. Take those feelings, handle them with humility and empathy, and don't pass them on to those you lead.

If you think you're leading with humanity, gratitude should be easy, like Sunday morning. And if it's difficult, like dodging a truck while wearing ankle weights?

It would be best if you got your weight up.

Black Poetry Tuesdays (July 25, 2023 Edition): "Karenge ya Marenge” by Countee Cullen

The week’s poem is a piece from Countee Cullen. Cullen was a queer poet, novelist, children's writer, playwright, and one of the prominent voices of the Harlem Renaissance. Countee’s work was heavily influenced by the concept of Négritude, a framework of critique and literary theory developed mainly by Black and African American intellectuals, writers, and politicians during the 1930s. It aimed at raising and cultivating a renewal of "Black consciousness,” a (re)discovery of Black values and awareness of the world and its view of Black bodies. This showed in the focus of his work, which was at the intersections of Blackness, racism, trauma, sexuality, finding identity, and self-expression.

The following piece is called “Karenga ya Marenge.” In this piece, Cullen explores language, its applications, and how racism, colorism, and anti-Blackness play a part in how Western culture absorbs words from melanated people, especially when seeking support and community in the face of oppression. It’s an interesting critique of Western culture’s adherence to the “proper” use of language and its response to those who are seen as less than, a struggle that we are still pushing through in 2023.

Karenge ya Marenge

Wherein are words sublime or noble? What

Invests one speech with haloed eminence,

Makes it the sesame for all doors shut,

Yet in its like sees but impertinence?

Is it the hue? Is it the cast of eye,

The curve of lip or Asiatic breath,

Which mark a lesser place for Gandhi’s cry

Than “Give me liberty or give me death!”

Is Indian speech so quaint, so weak, so rude,

So like its land enslaved, denied, and crude,

That men who claim they fight for liberty

Can hear this battle-shout impassively,

Yet to their arms with high resolve have sprung

At those same words cried in the English tongue?

You can learn more about Countee Cullen here.

This Week's Opening Thought: July 24, 2023

Trigger warning: Anti-Blackness, colonization, genocide, oppression, talk of sexual assault and other forms of physical harm.

This week’s opening thought: Seeing how education in the United States is leaning into the narrative that Africans “benefited” from chattel slavery by “earning valuable skills” and Native and Indigenous tribes and communities “benefited” from the interjection of white colonizers instead of acquiring unwanted generational trauma and oppression, let’s talk about who “benefited” from the enslavement and assault of Africans and the near genocide of Native American tribes and communities at the hands of white colonizers.

Here’s a hint: it ain’t Black, Native, and Indigenous folx.

When the raggedy-ass pilgrims came to what we now call North America, they came here with no skillset on how to be stewards of the land. They damn near died during their first autumn and winter on this unceded land. It was Native Americans, the rightful inhabitants of this land, who saved their asses, shared resources and survival skills, and tried to share their land with their new neighbors.

The pilgrims repaid the decency extended to them by killing them, distributing their lands among white people they deemed more worthy of the land, and killing and harming generations of their children through residential schools. Why?

Because they felt that Native communities would “benefit” from being forced into assimilation and conformity to white supremacy.

Ultimately, white folx colonized the entire continent, usurped all its resources for their own needs, and rendered Native and Indigenous communities invisible through oppression and erasure.

Africans were kidnapped from the shores of their continent and sold to white colonizers throughout the Western colonies to be put to work through chattel slavery. Chattel slavery quickly became the primary labor force in the United States, mainly because white people still did not possess the skills and abilities needed to be stewards and keepers of the unceded land they stole through violence and viewed Black bodies as expendable and subhuman. They proceeded to enslave, assault, murder, abuse, rape, and work Black bodies to death for hundreds of years until emancipation made it technically illegal. Once chattel slavery was abolished, white colonizers struggled to maintain the plantations and farms that generated their wealth because they still lacked the skills and experience to be stewards of the land. White people damn near bankrupted the country they built on the land they stole. Black folx, meanwhile, would continue to face similar traumas and violence to their personhood by white folx who did not view them as human beings.

This treatment persists for Black communities in the United States through laws, unfettered hate crimes, and systems intentionally built to harm and oppress Black communities.

This treatment persists even though Black folx are still exploited by whiteness on every level you can think of with no sustainable advancement for generations of the descendants of enslaved Africans.

Does it look like Native and Indigenous tribes and communities “benefited” from what white people have done and continue to do to their people?

Does it sound like Black folx have “benefited” from chattel slavery, abuse, murder, and oppression?

The resounding answer is, “Hell no.”

White society thinks that acting like the heinous crimes their ancestors committed and they currently benefit from allows for the space to rewrite history to make themselves feel better. But like a peanut butter and dookie sandwich, they’d be dead wrong to the point where you can smell how wrong they are from a mile away.

You can use as many alternate facts as you want, white people. It does not change the legitimate and well-documented facts of colonialism, white supremacy, anti-Blackness, racism, and trauma your people continue to maintain and benefit from.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t burn or rewrite all the books. You're going to miss a few.

And most of y’all would benefit from reading some of the ones you miss, comparing notes, and opening your eyes and minds to the idea that white ain’t always right.

On Clothes, Comfort, Identity, White Supremacist Workplace Culture, and "Professional" Attire

It's wild to me that people who consider themselves "high-level professionals" still throw out "advice" around "professional" attire. Y'all ain't got nothin' better to do with your time? Don't you have a meaningless seminar to conduct somewhere for a bunch of "professionals" who don't want to be challenged but want to act as they have been for clout?

At the beginning of my career in Human Resources, I used to "dress the part": business casual from head to toe: polo shirts, khakis, dress shoes, short haircuts, no facial hair. I did it because I was keen on being taken seriously.

I hated that sh--.

Every morning I looked in the mirror, I could see it eating away at my soul. It made me feel inauthentic, like a caricature of myself. And I still wasn't being taken seriously. If anything, I was being treated like a token, which made me constantly sad and angry. I don't know what my breaking point was, but I got up one morning, and instead of grabbing a striped polo shirt, I grabbed a Batman t-shirt.

And I've never looked back.

The moment I stopped dressing like a corporate HR goon was when my career changed, for better and worse. But I would've never been able to embrace the better if I stayed in the space of conformity. I've lost opportunities, left money on the table, and endured trauma and harm because I don't fit the "professional" image that white supremacist workplace culture almost demands from melanated folx. But I'd rather have a few fewer dollars in my pocket than cosplay as a" professional" daily. And real talk?

Who cares about this clothing thing at this point?

Why is this nonsense still important to people?

For the past few years, we all have lived through a collective trauma event, and we're still coming out of the worst of it and trying to take care of ourselves, earn a living, and maintain a job or career. Why does anyone care if someone's wearing a Care Bears shirt and some pajama pants while doing their job? Did the work get done? If it did, what's the problem? Regardless of your positionality in a workplace, if you're spending time and energy judging somebody wearing flip-flops and board shorts, you need to see that this is a "you" problem. It sounds like you need to sit and unpack your ingrained white supremacist patriarchal need to police others and maybe look into why you want homogeneity and conformity in the workplace.

And don't pull out that "you represent [insert company here] and you should dress as such" defense. That's weak and archaic. Most companies don't have a dress code or enforce the ones they have. Most weren't verbalizing this "concern" until a damn pandemic found many of us at home sitting in our comfy clothing, realizing we don't need to be in business clothes and uniformity all the damn time to be considered good at what we do.

Sheesh. Let it go, y'all. It is not the key to success some of y’all act like it is.

One of these “business gurus” recently posted, "Dress not as who you are but who you want to be." The first thing that popped into my head was, "Well, I wanna be a happy, healthy, comfortable, joyful, thicc Black man who wears t-shirts that display my voice and interests."

I'd say I'm nailing it.

Let's make the space for others to nail it too.