On Brittney, Breonna, and Giving Black Women Their Flowers

TW: Murder, anti-Blackness, violence, and systemic and intentional harm of Black women.

Brittney Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison today by Russian prosecutors. For a vape and some vape cartridges. And now Brittney Griner will be a political pawn in a dangerous "pissing match" game between two stubborn white cis men who fashion themselves as leaders. One was elected by the U.S. American people not because he was the most qualified but because we were given limited options. One elected himself by force, as white cis men are prone to do.

Nine years. For a vape and some vape cartridges.

It's taken over two years for the family of Breonna Taylor to even remotely see the possibility of justice and accountability for her unnecessary and reckless murder at the hands of Louisville, Kentucky, police officers. And while these are federal charges they're now facing, there's no guarantee Breonna's murderers will be held accountable for their actions.

Over two years. In a case where all the evidence points to blatant recklessness, endangerment, and murder.

Damnit.

This world truly goes out of its way to harm Black women, to disregard their worth and life, use them, drain them, and discard them. I'm tired.

I know Black women are beyond tired.

Sending all of my love, energy, and support to Black women today and every day as the world sends y'all reminders of how much y'all have to endure to live and thrive. Y'all deserve all the flowers, the love, and support in this cruel world.

On "Allyship Lists" and Barry White Songs

Too many white "professionals" love to tell other white people how to be "allies" while not being "allies" themselves.

Y'all love posting your lists of "things to do to be an ally" while you appropriate melanated people's cultures for your hair, clothes, and aesthetics.

Y'all love chastising other white people for not standing up and speaking out while not standing up or speaking out when your supervisors and co-workers hand out intersectional micro-aggressions and anti-Black rhetoric like party favors to your colleagues of color.

Y'all love telling other white people that they must listen to Black, Brown, Indigenous, Asian, and Pacific Islander voices. Then y'all proceed to shut down Black voices, speak over melanated folx in discussions, go on the defensive when called in or out by melanated folx, and make sure you stay far away from the idea of paying people of color for their time and teachings.

Maybe y'all need to listen to some Barry White. Maybe then y'all could practice what you preach.

Who All Gon' Be There?: A Case For Not Working In Person If You Don't Have To

I've been doing HR "professionally" for ten years. In that time, I've seen dozens of harmful and hateful people in leadership roles in almost every industry harass, sexually harass, verbally, and physically threaten their team members. I've witnessed blatant and aggressive racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and ableism by "leaders" who always asked for "diverse" candidates to fill their high turnover departments. I've watched as these "leaders" have created unsafe work environments for people from all walks of life who didn't fit their "like me" bias box. When I have called out these "leaders" for their actions, I have sat and watched as these "leaders" have gone out of their way to make my life a living hell to force me out of what they've deemed their workplaces.

And I know I'm not the only one this has happened to in those workplaces.

I've seen those who have been harmed be forced to leave the workplaces where these dangerous "leaders" call themselves leading because the organizations refuse to hold their attackers accountable. They've all said some version of the same sentences to me on their way out of these organizations:

"I couldn't keep doing this every day, Pharoah. I'm tired. I was starting to dread Mondays. I know you tried to help me, but they're doing the same thing to you."

Most of those "leaders" still have their jobs.

If you ever wonder why so many people, if they have the privilege to, want to avoid being physically in the workplace at this point, read all of the words above and then layer them over everything that was going on in your workplace before COVID-19.

Most of those "leaders" still have their jobs.

There's a reason Black folx ask people, "Who all gon' be there?" That's to feel out if we're being asked to go to a place where we can and will be harmed. We want to know if it's going to be some nonsense poppin' off with some messy people so we can avoid the situation. At this point, if these "leaders" are still gon' be there in the physical office space?

We good.

We ALL good.

On Independence, White Apathy Masquerading as Empathy, Black Bodies and Policing

TW: anti-Blackness, murder, police violence.

To white “professionals”:

Jayland Walker.

Say his name.

Quit acting like the murder of Black bodies at the hands of the police isn’t a regular part of U.S. American life. You know better than that by now.

Quit questioning why this keeps happening. You already know the answers to these questions.

Quit offering condolences or making performative social media posts. There ain’t enough black squares and “we need to do better” posts in the world that will ever supplant white people taking legitimate action to unwrap the lack of accountability and white supremacist ideology the U.S. was built on.

Quit watching and sharing the video of Jayland being shot by Akron, Ohio police more than 60 times. It’s not the “liberal” flex you think it is. No one needs to watch that pain. You sharing the video of that pain is a symbol of your lack of care for Black people’s trauma.

Quit thinking the Black people in your workplace or community only need a few days to heal and will be OK because they have the 4th of July off and/or a 3-day weekend. Most of us haven’t healed from the last murder by police in our cities or in this country, let alone everything else that has transpired lately in this country. And most of us hate the 4th of July. We’re using it as a day to stay the hell away from y’all and get into a headspace where we can exist for a few days at work around y’all to get back to another weekend so we heal some more.

Quit doing all of the above and start asking yourself why you do all of the above. And unpack that sh— on your time. Don’t put the labor of your messy white supremacist sh— on Black folx as your white fragility/violence sounding boards.

Enjoy your ribs and your small explosives that harm veterans and pets.

Independence.

On White Women, Handmaids, and (Maybe) Stepping Up

As we end June 2022 and wind down Pride Month and Juneteenth celebrations, we walk away from a month of tumult with a hazy horizon in front of us. I’ve seen a lot of joy and pride in embracing oneself and celebrating culture and perseverance in the face of hate and oppression.

That joy and pride conflicted with the hard-to-miss fact that the United States is trending toward becoming more dangerous and harmful to most of its citizenry than it already is.

As Roe v. Wade was overturned, as the religious right began its long-gestating power play to obliterate the line between church and state, I’ve seen many white people shocked at what’s happening around them. Many white women are suddenly distraught at the future ahead of us if the citizenry doesn’t collectively stand up and fight for rights and safety. Bodily autonomy is officially on the chopping block, and the future of women’s rights and reproductive health looks a little murky. I’ve seen many white women with tears in their eyes, sharing their stories of needing reproductive health access and saying their eyes are now open. They’re proclaiming they’re ready to stand up and fight on every social media platform they can find. Because I’m human, I can feel for those white women and their fear and anxiety, at least a little bit. But as a Black man in the United States?

They can miss me with their shock.

And they can Matrix miss me with those tears.

In the 2020 election, among White women, according to NBC News, 43 percent supported Biden, and 55 percent supported Trump. There was little meaningful change from 2016 when the same exit poll showed that 43 percent of White women supported Clinton and 52 percent supported Trump. Other significant polling data found the same or similar percentages, give or take a couple of percentage points.

You can miss me with those tears, white women.

More white women are in the U.S. House and Senate than at any point in United States history. They are primarily Republican, and a sizable portion of them are Christian conservatives. Those who are Democrats are mostly moderate or centrist in their voting habits. And most of them have voting records that set the stage for everything we’ve seen over the past week by supporting and enabling white supremacist and oppressive policies, bills, and laws.

On top of all those mentioned above, Black women and Black, Brown, and Indigenous movements have warned white women of the dangers of aligning with white supremacist patriarchal values since before the Women’s suffrage movement. We’ve stressed the need for understanding the intersectional impacts of siding with whiteness and white Christian dogma over the unethical and hateful treatment of women and people with uteruses in the United States.

You can miss me with those tears.

You have nothing to be shocked about, white women. What are you shocked about? That the safety you thought you had by aligning yourself with white patriarchal nonsense doesn’t exist? You thought they were only coming after the “colored women?” You thought these repeals and Supreme Court decisions would skip you as a white woman and oppress everyone else?

That’s a dangerous game to play, white women.

But you already knew that, and many of you played it anyway.

You played the game, lost, and now it’s time to do more than cry. Mourn a little. Mourn the loss of your conscious obliviousness. Feel the weight of the moment. Begin processing the trauma and anxiety of it all.

Then step your asses up to the plate and fight for EVERYONE. Not just for white women. Not just for white people with uteruses.

For ALL people with uteruses.

For ALL women.

Are you going to step up now? Or will you keep comparing the current state of things to the Handmaid’s Tale and posting your personal stories for sympathy while levying microaggressions toward Black women who aren’t coddling you now?

If I shake my Magic 8-Ball, something tells me all signs will point to no.

How about you prove me wrong?