On HR, Calls for Accountability, and the "If You Don't Like It, Then Leave" Mentality

I talk about the field of Human Resources a lot. Most people would say that I'm draggin' HR as a profession. Because of that, over the years, many HR "professionals" have sent me private messages telling me to leave the field if I can't respect the hard work that HR "professionals" have on their plates. Some have even gone as far as to tell me to leave the field publicly on my platforms. And let me say that the diehard HR "professionals" who get so up in arms about how I talk about Human Resources and aim to check me always give me a nice hearty chuckle.

An absolute side-splitter.

Y'all are hilarious. You mean to tell me you look at the field of Human Resources and its practices and transactional mindsets and approaches masquerading as empathy, and you're OK with it? You don't think there's anything to call out? You don't see things that "seasoned" HR "professionals" are doing that continue to harm people in workplaces that need to be addressed? Don't you see anything happening in the workforce that HR negatively contributes to, which gives you pause? Don't you see the decades-long patterns of behavior that have created the deep distrust that folx have of Human Resources at play?

What are you, that dog sitting in the flaming cafe or something?

But somehow, my calling these things out, proposing solutions, and holding HR folx accountable makes me the person who needs to leave HR.

If you're in a field that you can't hold a mirror to, criticize, and call to task, then you need to find a new line of work.

And if you can't be called to task to do better and to evolve yourself and the field you're in, then you need to wake up and realize that I'm not the problem and thou doth protest too much.

HR as a field, industry, and profession are not fine. You're just too comfortable with everything around you being on fire while being the right hand of the king.

When You're Here, You're Family? Nah, I'm Tight.

Here’s your Thursday reminder to not pledge your devotion to your employer. Keep that sh— transactional. Please don’t get your feelings all up in it. You can care about your work, but do not buy into being a “company man/woman/person.”

No matter what they say, they do not care about you the way you care about your work or the people you serve.

Don’t let them hit you with the Dominic Toretto monologues and Olive Garden catchphrases to suck you in with that “work family” jibba-jabba.

You deserve better than anything they can ever offer you.

Look at how they treat your colleagues. Look at how they talk about the people you serve.

Do you think they deserve your unwavering allegiance?

[Image description: an exterior shot of an Olive Garden restaurant.]

Image description: an exterior shot of an Olive Garden restaurant.

On Whiteboards, Learning, and the Fragile Male Ego

Image description: two pictures of the whiteboard on my office door. The second picture shows the quote of the week from Huey P. Newton (“Youths are passed through schools that don’t teach. Then forced to search for jobs that don’t exist and finally left stranded to stare at the glamorous lives advertised around them.”) and the word of the week, weaponized incompetence (definition: strategically avoiding responsibility by pretending to be incapable or inept at a task so that someone else helps, takes over, or stops delegating tasks to you. This creates an entrenched level of imbalance in relationships. Weaponized incompetence is regularly seen in relationship dynamics driven by patriarchal, heteronormative societal "values" and "norms.").

I have a whiteboard on my office door at work. It has my on-site hours listed, as they vary from week to week. It’s also the home to my chosen quote and word of the week. I started doing this a couple of months ago, and it's been interesting watching my on-site colleagues’ reactions to what they see on my office door. This week's word of the week - weaponized incompetence - has been a real crowd-pleaser for everyone who isn't a cishet male. For the few cishet men in my office? Not the same level of enthusiasm.

Yesterday, I came into the office to find the whiteboard mostly wiped off.

What did I do?

I rewrote the entire whiteboard and put it back on my door.

I'm not that easily deterred. But, more importantly, everything can be a learning moment, even for the scallywag who used their fingers to wipe off my board.

Hopefully, they’ll learn that next time they decide to wipe away a message that brings them discomfort, they should use their sleeves as an eraser so their fingers aren't covered in low-odor, dry-erase ink. I mean, work smart, not messy? But I hope they eventually learn that just because someone doesn't want to see a message doesn't mean they don't need to. Maybe they'll learn to check in with their feelings the next time they get the urge to not sit with and unpack their fragility and make something "go away."

Also, last week’s word of the week was structural racism, but weaponized incompetence was the word that sent someone over the edge?

People never cease to amaze me.

[Image description: two pictures of the whiteboard on my office door. The second picture shows the quote of the week from Huey P. Newton (“Youths are passed through schools that don’t teach. Then forced to search for jobs that don’t exist and finally left stranded to stare at the glamorous lives advertised around them.”) and the word of the week, weaponized incompetence (definition: strategically avoiding responsibility by pretending to be incapable or inept at a task so that someone else helps, takes over, or stops delegating tasks to you. This creates an entrenched level of imbalance in relationships. Weaponized incompetence is regularly seen in relationship dynamics driven by patriarchal, heteronormative societal "values" and "norms.").]

On Being Called the "Whisperer"

Hey, people of pallor with power and privilege and those who seek to curry the favor of white supremacists and "societal norms!" Here's your Wednesday reminder that a person being melanated and sharing their experiences navigating white supremacy in your workplace does not mean that person wants to be your "racism whisperer." The same goes for queer-identifying folx not wanting to be your "LGBTQIAA+ whisperer" and people with disabilities not wanting to be your "disability whisperer."

We didn't sign up for that.

We want to do our jobs well enough to be proud of our work and keep our jobs while dodging your ever-increasing scrutiny of our work due to your unwillingness to unpack your sh-- and then go home. If we share an experience we've had with you in the workplace, it was likely shared to educate you to the point that you will hopefully quit doing us and people like us ongoing harm.

You will never pay us enough to be a "whisperer" about anything in your white supremacist workplace environments. No money can ever supplant that sick feeling we often get in our guts when we have to be around you, listen to you say hateful and ignorant things, and mull over when is the right time to educate you instead of telling you where to go and how to get there. No money will ever aid our nervous systems in not feeling like the moment we put ourselves out there to gently call you in or teach you that our livelihoods are in danger. No money will ever make us feel OK with being tokenized by you, pushed to share our stories repeatedly with you, or make the number of boundaries we must have while in your workplace to exist and not be harmed by you feel any less burdensome.

Leave us be and digest what we shared with you. Own your actions instead of commodifying human beings.

On Write-Ups, "Performance Improvement Plans," "Managers," and "Leaders"

Write-ups and "performance improvement plans" exist because most "managers" don't know how to have adult, human, centered conversations with their team members to address issues in real-time and view being vulnerable and connected to their team members and colleagues as weaknesses.

Most write-ups and "performance improvement plans" address things that should've been, and still could be, addressed in a one-on-one, actively engaged conversation and regularly scheduled 1:1s.

If most "managers" and "leaders" used write-ups and "performance improvement plans" as human-centered support tools after exhausting all means of straightforward communication instead of weapons to force compliance, we'd be having different conversations about work.

If most "managers" and "leaders" used write-ups and "performance improvement plans" as a means to remove toxic, oppressive, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, ableist people from the workplace, we'd be having VERY different conversations about work.

Don't @ me. Tell me when I'm tellin' lies.