On Trayvon, Sandra, and Existing While Black

[Image description: pictures of Sandra Bland and Trayvon Martin. Both are smiling at the camera as their photographs are taken, which means they are smiling at the viewer.]

TW: police violence, murder, anti-Blackness.

This past Sunday, Trayvon Martin should've been celebrating his 28th birthday surrounded by friends and family.

Sandra Bland should be celebrating her 36th birthday today, surrounded by friends and family.

But they're not. They're gone because of whiteness, of white people, of a white society that has no issue with seeing Black people as a persistent danger for no reason outside of intolerance and hatred.

Blackness in the United States is simultaneously living in mourning and celebration. It's observing 28 scheduled days of Black achievement and pain in white spaces in front of white audiences looking to feel good about themselves while commodifying our existence as novelty and curiosity until we are deemed dangerous and expendable. Sometimes that expendability leads to reinforcing cycles of systemic and generational poverty.

Other times it comes in the form of trauma and death.

It is far too often the latter.

No matter what they tell you or what you've read, our deaths are never justifiable, especially considering how white domestic terrorists are handled in this country. Still, our harm and deaths are often unwarranted yet blamed on us as something we brought on ourselves. And yet we're expected to get up every day, put on a smile, and live with the fact that today could be the day we don't make it back home from a trip to the corner store or after getting pulled over for no damn reason. Somehow we face all of this and contribute to society and our communities in ways that help everyone, including white people, because that's who we are deep down inside. That's how we were raised, the descendants of enslaved people on unceded land. We were raised by people who, sadly enough, passed on the generational trauma they're carrying in their bodies and all of the "rules" that come with it. They didn't know they were; they were trying to protect the next generation. We've unconsciously embodied much of what was passed to us because we want what our parents, their parents, and their grandparent's parents wanted: to live without harm and without harming others.

To dream.

To live and love and achieve great things.

To not be murdered by white violence.

This is what it looks like to live while Black in the United States.

Trayvon should be 28.

Sandra should be 36.

But they aren't.

A Quick Open Letter to White People

White people,

There will be some Black people who will give you the side eye when you ask them if they’ve seen the latest Oscar bait chattel slavery movie, hit them with a “factoid” about being Black in the United States you just learned, or share your opinion on Black folx’s business (*cough* Brittney Griner *cough*) that ain’t got nothing to do with you. Some Black people will give you that side eye because they weighed out whether they should read you for filth or let you sit with discomfort as they look at you with supreme judgment, and the latter took less energy and time than the former. Some Black people will then not talk to you for a while so that they can make sure you have to sit with yourself and process your messiness sans Black people. Some Black people will hope you learn something from the experience but know deep down in their souls that you will not.

It’s me.

I’m some Black people.

[Image description: a picture of Black comedian Bernie Mac giving someone the side eye. His sunglasses are resting low on his nose as his side eye looks to the left.]

Image description: a picture of Black comedian Bernie Mac giving someone the side eye. His sunglasses are resting low on his nose as his side eye looks to the left.

On Melanin, Mermaids, and Well Water

The white folx out here mad about Black elves, mermaids, and extraterrestrials in television shows and films are the same white folx who are also mad whenever Black folx, Black women, in their workplaces get leadership roles, promotions, and salary increases.

The waters of their hate and intolerance in both instances are pumped from the same well.

Don't act like this hate is about "preserving the source material," "honoring the original novels," or anything like that. It's about white folx preserving what they think is theirs, what they believe is owed to them. It's about believing their identity is the only identity that matters at work and in the media they consume. It's about the unwillingness to sit with the belief that heroes and leaders can be green, orange, pale, have face ridges, pointy ears, fangs, tails, and a whole lot of other incredulous things going on, but them being Black? That's "too much." Why?

Because they believe Black people aren't heroes or protagonists, they believe Black people can't be leaders and experts in their fields. They can't be heroes. They can't be the main character of the story. They can't lead industries and shape workplaces. Why?

For many white people, Blackness being anything more than chattel slavery and centuries of systemic oppression is unbelievable. For them, being Black and a leader and protagonist is more of a fantasy than hobbits, elves, mermaids, explorers, leaders, and superheroes. For many white people, Black folx are and will always be less than, which means that we're not worthy of being heroes, leaders, protagonists, or new interpretations of stories and characters that whiteness has deemed white classics.

Some white people need to own that they want their workplaces, television, films, and literature to prescribe to 3/5 Compromise logic. Own who you are and what you believe. You'll still be foolish and hateful, but you won't look as silly as some white person on the internet raging over a mermaid being Black when their ancestors threw my ancestors' deceased or weary Black bodies off of slave ships to the bottom of the ocean.

Never mind. You'll still look just as silly.

Your white supremacy is showing. Might wanna tuck that in.

On Brittney, Breonna, and Giving Black Women Their Flowers

TW: Murder, anti-Blackness, violence, and systemic and intentional harm of Black women.

Brittney Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison today by Russian prosecutors. For a vape and some vape cartridges. And now Brittney Griner will be a political pawn in a dangerous "pissing match" game between two stubborn white cis men who fashion themselves as leaders. One was elected by the U.S. American people not because he was the most qualified but because we were given limited options. One elected himself by force, as white cis men are prone to do.

Nine years. For a vape and some vape cartridges.

It's taken over two years for the family of Breonna Taylor to even remotely see the possibility of justice and accountability for her unnecessary and reckless murder at the hands of Louisville, Kentucky, police officers. And while these are federal charges they're now facing, there's no guarantee Breonna's murderers will be held accountable for their actions.

Over two years. In a case where all the evidence points to blatant recklessness, endangerment, and murder.

Damnit.

This world truly goes out of its way to harm Black women, to disregard their worth and life, use them, drain them, and discard them. I'm tired.

I know Black women are beyond tired.

Sending all of my love, energy, and support to Black women today and every day as the world sends y'all reminders of how much y'all have to endure to live and thrive. Y'all deserve all the flowers, the love, and support in this cruel world.