This Week's Opening Thought: December 4, 2023

Image description: A man is leaning back, removing headphones from his head. He has a look of disgust and anguish on his face as he recoils. Above him are the words, "Me when a person of pallor starts telling me a story about why they're racist like it's a valid reason for being racist."

This week's opening thought for people of pallor: I don't want to sit with you as you spin a yarn about why you're justified in your racist ideology and actions.

I don't want to hear about how you, at age 57, are racist because a Black kid almost stole your wallet when you were 13.

I don't want to engage with your story of being one of the only white kids in a predominately Black, Brown, or melanated neighborhood and how you were picked on in high school when you're currently in your mid-40s.

I don't want to hear your tale about having a crush on a Latine kid when you were in the ninth grade and being dissed by him and his friends, leaving you embarrassed and humiliated unless you're still in the ninth grade for some reason at the age of 30.

What I want is for you to process your trauma through therapy (EMDR is your homey).

What I want is for you to understand that while any incident can impact and traumatize you, one interaction with a melanated person that didn't go your way is not a reasonable bar for developing and cultivating a lifetime of hatred for any particular race.

I want you to digest that I don't want to hear your supervillain origin story.

I want you to be better and do better.

And I want you to understand that damn near every melanated person you meet in life could have a supervillain origin story, but we decided to make a left instead of a right when we got to the fork in the road.

Racism is villainy. It ain't even super. It's just villainy. And it is significantly so if you're a person of pallor who regularly benefits from dominant culture and white supremacy. Stop trying to justify and seek validation for your hate.

Save the supervillain origin stories for the comic books.

You ain't fly enough to be Doctor Doom.

(Note: every example above is true. I have had those situations and many more shared with me over the years by "well-meaning" "professionals" of pallor.)

[Image description: A man is leaning back, removing headphones from his head. He has a look of disgust and anguish on his face as he recoils. Above him are the words, "Me when a person of pallor starts telling me a story about why they're racist like it's a valid reason for being racist."]

This Week's Opening Thought: November 28, 2023

This week's (late) opening thought: I've gotten so few compliments and affirmations for my work in workplaces over the past decade that it feels like a set-up when I do get them. Like, I'm not on a hunt for kudos, but it does affect a person when all you receive is negativity while watching people of pallor and folx in the sunken place are treated like "model employees" while doing immeasurable harm.

I've gotten yelled at, mistreated, disregarded, "coached," complained about, written up, and separated from employment so many times for just existing and trying my damndest every day to mitigate harm to others that when someone tells me they think I'm doing a good job? I'm waiting for the "but."

For years, my body and brain felt like they were in constant danger at work. I'm doing much better now, but real talk? I do a decent job of maintaining, but I have lapsed into that trauma state of mind way more than I'd like, depending on the day and circumstances. If it weren't for therapy, exercise, and mindfulness, I'd be a f---g mess. How do I know this?

Until a few years ago, I was two steps away from being a f---g mess. All the time.

Workplace trauma is real, y'all.

I know from experience.

On Tamir's 21st Birthday

Image description: a picture of a 12-year-old Tamir Rice. He is smiling at the camera while throwing up a peace sign. The sun from a nearby window gives his soft brown skin a glow.

TW: discussion around police-involved shootings, murder, anti-Blackness, and racism.

Tamir Rice should be 21 years old today.

Tamir should be celebrating with friends and family, with a long weekend to do so.

But Tamir is not here today.

Tamir is not here today because, at the age of 12, he was murdered by a police officer who had been deemed emotionally unstable and unfit for duty by Independence, Ohio’s police department but lied about this to get a job with the Cleveland Police Department.

Tamir is not here today because he was murdered by a Cleveland police officer who never received a background check when he applied for the Cleveland Police Force.

Tamir’s family received no justice for his murder because a jury believed the officer who murdered Tamir was justified in his actions. After all, Tamir had an airsoft pistol that looked real, and there was no way the officer could know the difference.

Meanwhile, white mass shooters on murder sprees get lengthy negotiations, gentle trips to the police station and Burger King, and so much benefit of the doubt and so many excuses for their actions that it’s blatantly apparent whose lives don't matter.

Tamir should be celebrating the benchmark of adulthood.

But Tamir isn't with us today.

[Image description: a picture of a 12-year-old Tamir Rice. He is smiling at the camera while throwing up a peace sign. The sun from a nearby window gives his soft brown skin a glow.]

This Week's Opening Thought: November 13, 2023

This week's opening thought: Some of y’all have genuinely shown how devoid you are of humanity, global compassion, and empathy over the past few years, haven't y'all? I mean, damn. A global pandemic, multiple boiling points coming to a head around centuries of racism, white supremacy, and hate in the United States, and countless lives lost to war, disease, hatred, and oppression, and some of y’all are still out here playin’ devil’s advocate or sharing toxic “hot takes” with no regard for who you harm or disregard as valid and human.

If, after enduring almost five years of collective and individual harm and trauma and watching as people in your communities, workplaces, and across the globe are enduring extreme trauma and strife, you can’t find an ounce of compassion for others and empathize with how hard things are for so many people without caveats or quips about how your “views” on local and global matters as a “good person” are more valid or how you don’t have privilege and your experiences mean more than those of others?

You’re proof positive that empathy, compassion, and decency are not inherent but learned.

And please believe that this is not a “white people thing.” Some of y’all are out here highly melanated and highly problematic.

It’s not that hard to care about the lives and trials of others, but some of y’all act like it’s akin to doing Calculus while dodging arrows on a tightrope.

So I've gotten a few messages questioning my views on the intensely traumatic situation in Israel and Palestine, namely that I made a post and then removed it. Firstly, I removed that post because I realized I needed to be more educated on the history and weight of life and the struggles in the region. Real talk? I'm still seeking ongoing knowledge and understanding. But I'm more learned than I was a month ago, and I'm still learning enough to continue unpacking my biases and beliefs but be clearer about the intent and impact of my views and statements. So, if you're one of the people who questioned me about my stance or are new to these parts and don't know me or know where I stand on current events, please read and absorb the following words:

Free Palestine.

Ceasefire now.

I care about the impacts of this escalated state of violence on people living in the United States, watching their friends and families suffer through the harshness of war, as well as those experiencing this pain in Israel, Palestine, and neighboring regions. The short-term and long-term mental, physical, and emotional impacts of this state of violence will be something I will never fully understand. But I'll be damned if I'm not going to be there for people and continue learning what I can to be a decent human being and global citizen.

Oppression is oppression, even if you are historically oppressed and wielding your trauma to oppress other oppressed people. Being oppressed and obtaining what you view as safety and freedom does not give you a pass to wield the tools of oppression. Healing is so necessary.

We can all believe in freedom and safety for everyone affected in the SWANA diaspora while condemning hate and harm because what we're all sadly witnessing is the product of long-term trauma and oppression for everyone in harm's way and those doing harm. We must acknowledge that this isn't some cut-and-dry, black-and-white situation that sprouted up overnight and that human lives are at stake.

Human lives lost due to the throes of colonialism, prejudice, and white supremacist ideology is not a good look. Ever. There will never be anything that can be said to me that would convince me otherwise.

There you go. That should tell you precisely what you need to know about me, how I view and value human life, and how I feel about oppression, colonialism, genocide, war, violence, hate, and white supremacy. And that's all I've got to say about that because I do not engage in debates about human lives and oppression with people who want to play devil's advocate or categorize me as hateful for not "taking a side." The only side to take in this horrific ordeal is valuing human lives and freedom. If that's not a side you're comfortable with, I'm sorry your empathy settings need adjusting.

Vitriol will be deleted.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.