On The Benefits of Working Remote vs. Onsite While Black

Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”

One of the most significant benefits I’ve received from transitioning to remote roles is not having to spend my time in an office where people of pallor can force their way into my personal office space any time they see fit and initiate nonconsensual conversations around how racist, oppressive, and harmful they are.

I have had countless unwanted conversations with “well-meaning” people of pallor in workplaces over the years, around how racist and messed up they are. Every in-person job I’ve had for over a decade has had people of pallor forcing me to be their constant sounding board and “teacher.” It’s draining. It’s oppression and abuse masquerading as curiosity and a willingness to learn when all they want is validation for their actions.

Now, some of y’all are probably like, “Why didn’t you have boundaries?”, which is a question that shows how privileged your life has been not to have
to worry about how having boundaries in the workplace unlocks a whole closet of stereotypes and white supremacist workplace-isms that ultimately threaten your ongoing employment prospects.

Boundaries? Oh, you silly lil’ privileged beavers. Of course, I had boundaries in those workplaces.

The thing is, the clearer I was with my boundaries - signage on my office door that made it clear that I was busy, being available by appointment only, asking people to leave and re-enter my office, stating that I was not willing to consent to a racism “chat”, and even making it clear that people had to knock and be invited in before entering - the more “well-meaning” people of pallor would report me to my supervisor. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to chat with leadership about how I’m not being a “team player,” that my boundaries were somehow in conflict with my job duties (they never were), or that I was the one being harmful to others because I didn’t want to be a racism and bigotry sounding board.

It has always been clear to me that working while Black comes with white supremacy, expecting you to shrink yourself and be used and mistreated as some form of servitude and gratitude to maintain a paycheck. And because I know this? I don’t think I can work in a physical office doing full-time work and feel healthy doing it ever again.

Working remotely has been a blessing for my mental and emotional health, and I don’t believe in letting blessings pass me by.

It’s also saved me from catchin’ a case, so win-win.

[Image description: a picture of R&B musician Carl Thomas. He leans back in his car, his face exasperated. The image is captioned, “Me when I see that one person of pallor who always wants to ‘chat’ with a melanated person about their most recent racist and white supremacist behavior happily entering my office without permission to force a nonconsensual conversation, dumping a bunch of hateful crap in my lap and forcing me to chose between ‘educating’ them or putting my continued employment at risk by checkin’ them.”]

On "Breaking the Ice", Stereotypes, and Montell Jordan

Hey, people of pallor! Happy Tuesday! Just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you can find commonality with Black, Brown, Indigenous, Global Majority, and non-white folx without having to resort to stereotypes and things you think are our identities. Just because you can't fathom the notion that melanated folx are more than the elements you'd need to pick up at your local Spirit Halloween store to build a racist Halloween costume doesn't mean we have to want to engage with yo' ass around this kind of "icebreaker" nonsense.

Just because you figure out that I like R & B doesn't mean I want to talk with you about how Montell Jordan's "This is How We Do It" changed your life.

Just because I'm a Black person who cooks doesn't mean I want to "bond" with you over your "recently discovered love" for collard greens (which, might I add, most of y'all be saying as "collared greens", a pronunciation that makes me choke on my LaCroix every time I hear it) and black eyed peas.

Like, read the room and check yourself. Geez.

I'll be in a Batman shirt and y'all will look at me and be like, "I just watched this riveting documentary about apartheid!" WHAT?! How in the Hell are we not having a comic book conversation?! That's an instant “in” for a chat!

UGH. Do better.

On Superman, "Wokeness," and Pro-Immigration

Me when the fragile people of pallor are freaking out about the upcoming Superman film being “woke” and having a pro-immigrant stance.

Image description: A montage of images of SpongeBob SquarePants laughing or trying to suppress laughter.

Oh, bless y’alls lil’ papier-mâché hearts.

Superman is a literal extraterrestrial (see: alien) whose parents sought out asylum for their child in a land where they believed he would be safe and cared for, as his homeworld was dying an explosive death due to, ironically, climate change.

Superman was created by two Jewish immigrants as an allegory for the experience of immigrants in the United States and the strength of the human spirit.

Superman has been punchin’ Nazis and sh—ty people since Action Comics #1. Dude literally worked over some slumlords in one of his earliest adventures and spent his first year battling crappy human beings. He’s always been about using his powers and privilege to protect those less fortunate and most vulnerable.

How so many of y’all don’t understand that Superman has always been what y’all describe as woke and pro-immigrant is beyond me.

It’s gotta be a case of widespread kryptonite poisoning.

[Image description: A montage of images of SpongeBob SquarePants laughing or trying to suppress laughter.]

On Juneteenth and Four-Day Weekends for People of Pallor

I will never feel OK about Juneteenth being a federal holiday.

It will never feel right to me that people of pallor pulled a performative flex to give themselves a day off to "celebrate" what is essentially the impacts of their ancestors' enslavement, exploitation, and subjugation of Black bodies on stolen land.

Trust me when I say that 90% of the people of pallor who have today off from work aren't learning, reflecting, or giving their time or money to support Black communities in their cities. I can guarantee most of 'em are using this as a four-day weekend.

Making Juneteenth a federal holiday was never about acknowledging the generational trauma inflicted on Black people, discussing and learning about the ongoing systemic struggles that Black bodies have endured on this stolen land for centuries, or observing the documented end of Black bodies forced into chattel slavery. Making Juneteenth a federal holiday was about people of pallor with power and positionality making themselves feel like "good people" through grandiose performative actions to curry favor from Black folx without having to put in the work necessary to atone for centuries of harm. But ultimately? Making Juneteenth a federal holiday was really about people of pallor with power and positionality making themselves feel like "good people" through grandiose performative actions to curry favor from other "good" people of pallor who want to feel good about themselves.

And knowing that will never allow Juneteenth's status as a federal holiday to feel right in my brain or body.

I wish they had just left it alone.

On Saving Those Not Worthy of Your Save

It's the year of someone's Lord 2025 and a whole bunch of y'all are still out here trying to "get through to" hateful, willfully ignorant bigots, hoping to convert them.

Oh, Bro, Broseph, Bro-ham.

Oh, Sister, Sis, Ma'am.

Oh, my friend, my compadre, my peoples.

Y'all gotta stop with the tryin' to save these people.

To paraphrase light-skinned Jermaine, they don't wanna be saved.

People are defending Diddy and Tory Lanez out here, and trying to shame and ridicule those they've harmed. You can't save anybody that deeply enmeshed in that level of misogynoir.

There's a whole bunch of [redacted] people mad that Black folx are happy about the Nottaway Plantation roasting 'til the meat fell off the bone who have the audacity to call it a historical landmark and say tasteless nonsense like, "How would you feel if Auschwitz burned down like this?" You think you're gonna save someone who spews something so simultaneously anti-Black and anti-semetic that it'll make your head spin off of your neck?

There are millions of people who have spent the last 12 years voting for this current administration, knowing damn well what they were backing. Many of them are gleeful about the harm y'all's president and his Dollar General Batman villains are doing to communities across this country, including their own communities. You can't save somebody whose hatred for others is so powerful that they're willing to fall on their own sword multiple times to justify their hatred.

The past 12+ years in this country have made it clear - explicitly clear - that it's time to leave some people behind. If you haven't pivoted already, consider this your notice to turn around and walk away from hateful people and their unflinching toxicity. Focus your energies on the folx in your life and community that need support, because those are the folx who deserve your help and care.

Everybody ain't worth savin', regardless of their relation or degrees of separation from you and yours.

Hate doesn't deserve so much of your love.